How's college?
MMadison
Fine. You should try it some time.
No thanks. The world's my college.
CCrow
He's taking it pass-fail.
S8The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies
[Zebra-striped dancers move in formation to a oddly "Silent Night"-like tune.]
Hair-trigger precision. They're like the Blue Angels of dancing.
Yeah, one wrong move and they all crash.
[The singer and dancers are performing "Shook Out of Shape". Mike and the Bots sing their own words.]
MAMike [as Singer]
First blade lifts, the second one cuts. You get your…
MCMike, Crow [as Chorus]
Schick out of shape!
Now, everybody--shave!
[Confused, acid-scarred Jerry is being tossed around in the surf.]
[You know] how some movies inspire you to make your own movie? This one inspires me to make my own gravy.
[Jerry and Harold discuss Jerry's girlfriend's mother]
Her mother doesn't like anything. Especially me.
HHarold
Well, if you get a job or something, she might change her mind, you know?
[shocked] Job?
SAServo [as Jerry]
I'm a respected neurosurgeon!
[After seeing who played Madison]
Madison is, Madison.
[Zebra-striped dancers move in formation to a oddly "Silent Night"-like tune.]
You know, the 14-year-old boys who snuck in with fake IDs, they gotta be feeling profoundly ripped off at this point.
CCrow
Yep.
The "Feliz Navidad" dancers.
. . .
CCrow
Now, were these dance numbers supposed to be provocative or merely boring?
Well, provocative in their boringness?
. . .
Hair-trigger precision. They're like the Blue Angels of dancing.
Yeah, one wrong move and they all crash.
CCrow
There's something Laverne & Shirley-esque about this.
. . .
Riverdance: The strip show!
Ah, halftime at the Orange Bowl. Never fails to disappoint.
. . .
So how is this a tribute to Madeline Albright?
[as Carmelita performs]
CCrow
Joel Grey, ladies and gentlemen.
Isn't that the guy Danny Bonaduce beat up?
Watch as she walks around.
CCrow
You know, Noam Chomsky should pick better warm-up acts.
S8Jack Frost
[Title card is shown.]
...could eat no...frost.
[Nastenka has to knit some socks before the sun rises.]
So, the first plot point involves knitting socks. I think we're in for quite a ride, guys!
[Russian names are on the screen.]
These names are all Russian for Alan Smithee.
[The sun rises. Nastenka runs to address the horizon.]
Have mercy, rosy-fingered Dawn! Have mercy on me, o rising golden Sun!
SAServo [as Sun]
And you are…?
Wait 'til I'm done knitting these stockings! Otherwise I'll be punished severely. Stepmother said she would tear off my braid.
MAMike [as Sun]
[beeps] This is the Sun. Your call is very important to us, but due to unusually high call volume…
[The sun obligingly reverses itself and sinks below the horizon.]
Oh, the world's thrown into chaos -- earthquakes, floods -- but that's fine; you knit your sock.
. . .
MAMike [as Mafia don]
Some day you'll return the favor...
[The camera pans to several different chickens calling.]
CCrow
This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast Chicken.
Man, Peter must be walkin' around denyin' everybody this morning.
[Ivan plays hide-and-seek with the gnomish Father Mushroom.]
Frodo gets drunk and screws with his neighbors.
. . .
CCrow
If Disappearing Elf Hide-and-seek were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape!
[The flowers Nastenka was watering quickly grow and resemble fiber-optic cables.]
CCrow
The KGB has her under surveillance!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.