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Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes

3,167 quotes · page 112 of 212

Mystery Science Theater 3000

S7Escape 2000

[A man and a woman are heard yelling at each other in their apartment]

They're rehearsing a David Mamet play in there.

[Reporter Moon Grey tries to expose Clark's plot.]

A fascist Italian? Come on!!

MGMoon Grey

[being dragged from a press conference] ...and the GC Corporation sucks!

[The other reporters whirl around towards President Clark]

MAMike [as Reporter]

Is that true? Do you suck?

[The Bronx's residents are being led into vans marked "Desinfestation Annihilation Squad"]

[chuckles] I think they blew their cover here!

[Trash escapes from his parents' apartment only to be almost blown up in a stairwell.]

CACrow [as Trash]

D'oh, the Bronx is something which I should have left!

[A heavy steel ladder hangs dangerously above an unconscious Trash]

Ah. The ladder of Damocles.

Yeah, so far his greatest adversary is a ladder.

PCPresident Clark

So... You let them both get away... The girl and that delinquent Trash.

WWrangler

[chuckles] I don't think so. They're both... under... [points at random place in Bronx model] ...there! [points somewhere else] ...or maybe there!

...right there!

WWrangler

But somewhere there!

[Mike and the 'bots laugh.]

PCPresident Clark

Maybe you intend to go down... to convince them... to waste themselves with some dynamite?

WWrangler

[chuckles] I don't think so.

You guys didn't rehearse, did you?

[A mine goes off underneath two of President Clark's bodyguards]

MAMike [as Bodyguard]

Oh what did you step in!

[Disinfesters jump out of a van.]

SAServo [as Disinfester]

Hi! Kill us!

[They get shot.]

SAServo [as Disinfester]

Thank you!

[As Trash blows up a van]

MAMike [as DJ]

Alright, we're here in the KROQ Supervan giving out a-- [The van explodes. Crow screams.]

SAServo [as Trash]

Hey, rats. That was my van!

[As the film ends, a crane shot shows dozens of bodies sprawled around burning ruins.]

Cleanup in Borough Five!

S7Laserblast

[The credits display: "Laserblast".]

Terrible name for laser eye surgery… scares away the customers.

[A mutated man tries to hide from a spaceship, with a laser cannon attached to his arm.]

SAServo [as Elmer Fudd]

I'm hunting spacecwaft...hehehehehehe.

. . .

[A closeup of the man reveals his gaunt complexion and the disc-shaped apparatus on top of the laser cannon on his arm.]

Edward CDplayerhands.

[After a scene with the aliens, followed by an unrelated scene with Billy's mother leaving for Acapulco, the film fades to another seemingly unrelated shot of a van driving along the road.]

Well, now on to movie three!

[Twenty minutes into the movie, and nothing important has happened. Billy is hanging around a gas station.]

So, let's recap the movie so far: somebody went to Acapulco, and somebody almost bought gas.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.