Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotes[The monster, having escaped the closet earlier, bites out a chunk of Cortner's neck and quickly spits it out.]
Servo [as Monster]: That's one nasty McNugget! Ew!
Servo [as Monster]: That's one nasty McNugget! Ew!
[The monsters attack an all-girl slumber party]
Mike: [They] don't even know what panties are, yet they feel compelled to raid.
Servo: Every male of any species has the biological urge to panty-raid.
Mike: [They] don't even know what panties are, yet they feel compelled to raid.
Servo: Every male of any species has the biological urge to panty-raid.
[The Moon Men's rock monsters lumber towards the queen's sister, Billis.]
Servo: Hey, baby, wanna get stoned?
Crow [as Bob Dylan]: Everybody must get stoned!
Servo: Hey, baby, wanna get stoned?
Crow [as Bob Dylan]: Everybody must get stoned!
[The moonlight casts the shadow of a palm tree against the side of the cabin.]
Mike: Look at that shadow - it's Sideshow Bob!
Mike: Look at that shadow - it's Sideshow Bob!
[The movie begins and Rose Wood walks to the Sheriff's office. Thanks to the wide-angle shot, two criminals on horseback are revealed to the side.]]
Joel: [As the criminals start moving.]] Ah, cue the horses!
Crow: [Under his breath]] Corman...
Servo: [As the criminals stop] Boy, she is slick. How'd she get by us?
Joel: [As the criminals start moving.]] Ah, cue the horses!
Crow: [Under his breath]] Corman...
Servo: [As the criminals stop] Boy, she is slick. How'd she get by us?
[The movie closes with the word "FINE" (Italian for "the end").]
Servo: This has been the official biopic of Larry Fine.[N]
Servo: This has been the official biopic of Larry Fine.[N]
[The movie credits show: © MCMLXIX DAIEI CO. LTD.]
Servo: [singing to the Nestlé's jingle] M-C-M-L-X-I-X / Daiei makes the very best
Joel: [singing] Movies -- NOT!
Servo: [singing to the Nestlé's jingle] M-C-M-L-X-I-X / Daiei makes the very best
Joel: [singing] Movies -- NOT!
[The movie credits show: Miles O'Keefe]
Crow: How much Keefe is in this movie?
Servo: Oh, Miles O' Keefe!
Crow: How much Keefe is in this movie?
Servo: Oh, Miles O' Keefe!
[The movie ends with Paul destroying the laboratory, and eventually himself with the projection laser]
Crow: Well, this is kind of an ambiguous ending. Is this film horrible or did it merely suck?
Servo: Yeah! Now that I have seen it, do I want to kick a dog or a cat?
Crow: Do I want the director just killed or should he be tortured first?
Mike: Crow!
. . .
[The last shot of the movie shows the screen covered in flames.]
Crow: Ah, so the movie and all the actors in it roast in Hell!!
[Mike and the 'bots cheer loudly]
Crow: Well, this is kind of an ambiguous ending. Is this film horrible or did it merely suck?
Servo: Yeah! Now that I have seen it, do I want to kick a dog or a cat?
Crow: Do I want the director just killed or should he be tortured first?
Mike: Crow!
. . .
[The last shot of the movie shows the screen covered in flames.]
Crow: Ah, so the movie and all the actors in it roast in Hell!!
[Mike and the 'bots cheer loudly]
[The movie opens with a close-up of Marv speaking to someone off-screen.]
Mike: He has a haunting ugliness.
Mike: He has a haunting ugliness.
[The movie opens with a flamboyant Satan speaking to the viewers.]
Mike: Satan, the Prince of Cabaret.
. . .
Mike: This guy was never in heaven, he was cast out of community theater!
Mike: Satan, the Prince of Cabaret.
. . .
Mike: This guy was never in heaven, he was cast out of community theater!
[The movie opens with a review of North American defense monitoring stations.]
Narrator: Another radar fence stretches across the long, unfortified border between the United States and Canada...
Servo [as Narrator]: Canada, our mortal enemy.
Narrator: ... the Pine Tree Radar Fence.
Mike [as Narrator]: The natural radar of pine trees protects our northern borders.
Narrator: Another radar fence stretches across the long, unfortified border between the United States and Canada...
Servo [as Narrator]: Canada, our mortal enemy.
Narrator: ... the Pine Tree Radar Fence.
Mike [as Narrator]: The natural radar of pine trees protects our northern borders.
[The movie opens with the title: The Thing That Couldn't Die.]
Servo: The Strom Thurmond Story!
Mike: Couldn't die or wouldn't die?
Crow: Shouldn't?
Servo: The Strom Thurmond Story!
Mike: Couldn't die or wouldn't die?
Crow: Shouldn't?
[The movie's opening credits list Dick Sargent.]
Crow: Dick Sargent. Didn't he play Dick York on Bewitched?
Crow: Dick Sargent. Didn't he play Dick York on Bewitched?