[Over the title screen]
Oh, these guys are, like, warriors from Hell!
S7Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell
[Deathstalker has a very 80's style haircut]
Well, they missed on haircuts by roughly twelve hundred years.
[Deathstalker is stick fighting on a log, with a hint of an accent of some sort.]
CCrow
Let's see how long THESE accents last!
[Deathstalker's friend who looks like Michael McDonald is getting ready to attack.]
SAServo [as Michael McDonald character]
We're taking it to the streets!
[Deathstalker gets shot down by a princess after saying something rude to her.]
CCrow
Well, it looks like I'm boxing the clown again tonight!
[A warrior runs at Deathstalker, brandishing his sword wildly.]
SAServo [as warrior]
Duh-huh, kill! Huh huh...
[As he lunges, the warrior gets caught in a trap that leaves him dangling by his leg from a tree.]
CCrow
Whoa! He set that thing for pheasants; that was lucky!
TTroxartis
[haltingly, overacting] This has. Nothingtodowith. Being RICH.
SAServo [as Troxartis]
I put the. Beatsinmyown. Script and I'm. Sticking WITH them.
[Deathstalker gets up from Khorsa and Marinda's potatoes-only feast inside their rough house.]
KKhorsa
You sleep in the barn!
SAServo [as Deathstalker]
This isn't the barn?
SAServo [as Khorsa]
[addressing the Warriors from Hell] Excuse me, Mr. Moose?
MAMike [as the Warriors from Hell]
We're bats, ma'am. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.
[The Warriors from Hell burst through the door of Khorsa's cabin.]
CCrow
[singing] We're the knights of the round table!
[Deathstalker approaches a horse and throws a shaggy blue-gray object over its back.]
Oh no, he made a saddle out of Grover!
[Deathstalker sneaks around Troxartis' castle, encountering few obstacles along the way.]
This movie is like playing Doom when there's no monsters or opponents.
DDeathstalker
...Now here he is, drinking wine and chasing women.
Spo-dee o-dee.
This is one of the most ambitiously bad movies we have ever done.
[A large mob of people (who have never been seen before this point in in the movie) attack Troxartis' castle; several of them scurry up a ladder over the top of the wall.]
MAMike [as attacker]
Remember, top rung not to be used as a step!
CACrow [as attacker]
Who are we?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.