Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotes[The film starts over the Columbia Pictures logo.]
Servo [as Jerry Lewis]: Lady!
Crow [as Jerry Lewis]: Hey, lady!
Mike [as Jerry Lewis]: Hey, down here, lady!
Servo [as Jerry Lewis]: Love this lady.
Mike: She's in everything.
Servo [as Jerry Lewis]: Lady!
Crow [as Jerry Lewis]: Hey, lady!
Mike [as Jerry Lewis]: Hey, down here, lady!
Servo [as Jerry Lewis]: Love this lady.
Mike: She's in everything.
[The film's opening credits display "Martian Furniture by Fritz Hansen".]
Crow [as TV Announcer]:For Martian Furniture, Fritz of Mars!
Crow [as TV Announcer]:For Martian Furniture, Fritz of Mars!
[The film's opening credits gradually plaster a dozen names on the screen.]
Mike: Wow, I think I'm in this!
Mike: Wow, I think I'm in this!
[The film's penultimate card reads "The End?"]
Crow: The end? Yes. I mean, no. I wanna change my answer!
Joel: No. Always wonder.
[Servo waits impatiently for the card to change.]
Servo: COME ON!
[The last card fades in, thanking the city of El Paso.]
Servo: Thank you, El Paso! Good night! We're out of here!
Joel: We're going to take a break, we've been Manos: The Hands Of Fate.
[They leave the theater.]
Crow: The end? Yes. I mean, no. I wanna change my answer!
Joel: No. Always wonder.
[Servo waits impatiently for the card to change.]
Servo: COME ON!
[The last card fades in, thanking the city of El Paso.]
Servo: Thank you, El Paso! Good night! We're out of here!
Joel: We're going to take a break, we've been Manos: The Hands Of Fate.
[They leave the theater.]
[The film's title appears on the screen]
Joel, Crow & Tom: [singing to tune of Hava Nagila]: Havah la gila, havaaaaah la gila!
Joel, Crow & Tom: [singing to tune of Hava Nagila]: Havah la gila, havaaaaah la gila!
[The final shot of the movie, a zoom in on Jessica's necklace and cleavage, fills the screen.]
Crow: The whole movie was leading up to this shot.
Mike [as Announcer]: Brought to you by the Breast Council.
Servo [as Announcer]: Buy breasts where you work or bank!
Crow: The whole movie was leading up to this shot.
Mike [as Announcer]: Brought to you by the Breast Council.
Servo [as Announcer]: Buy breasts where you work or bank!
[The first scene after the credits is a night shot of a narrow city street lined with apartment buildings.]
Servo: I'm as mad as hell!...
Servo: I'm as mad as hell!...
[The first scene takes place in what looks like a barred room.]
Mike: San Quentin prison presents Shakespeare.
Mike: San Quentin prison presents Shakespeare.
[The flowers Nastenka was watering quickly grow and resemble fiber-optic cables.]
Crow: The KGB has her under surveillance!
Crow: The KGB has her under surveillance!
[The gang enters the theater as the title is shown.]
Servo: Ah, how many times Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie had sex!
Servo: Ah, how many times Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie had sex!
[The gang is making their getaway from a bank after robbing it.]
Servo [as Banjo]: Not this way, man, my mom will see me!
Servo [as Banjo]: Not this way, man, my mom will see me!
[The gang is quacking along with the background music.]
Servo: Now "Duck News". Here's Hugh McQuackin.
Servo: Now "Duck News". Here's Hugh McQuackin.
[The Gill Man makes his somewhat grand appearance, swimming through the lagoon.]
Mike [as The Gill Man]: [In time with the dramatic music] Here I am! I'm the Creature!
Servo: Boy, Esther Williams didn't age well.
Mike [as The Gill Man]: [In time with the dramatic music] Here I am! I'm the Creature!
Servo: Boy, Esther Williams didn't age well.
[The girls wake up in their bunk bed and talk to each other.]
Crow [as girl]: Uncle Jim's out of control - we frag him today.
Bloodlust! (movie)
Crow [as girl]: Uncle Jim's out of control - we frag him today.
Bloodlust! (movie)