[Drug dealer Sticks, with his boss Farrell watching, beats up a kid who stole from him]
FFarrell
Hey dummy, don't hurt him too bad.
SAServo [as Farrell]
He's our only customer.
S6Angels Revenge
[Michelle sings "Shine Your Love" in a casino lounge.]
CACrow [as Diner]
How's about someone shine my steak over here?!
. . .
You know, back in the '70s, you could take an abstract concept like shining your love and just go with it.
AApril
Women can make a difference.
CCrow
Ahh, the director wrote that so he could get laid.
[The musical score apes Also sprach Zarathustra as the Angels' combat van appears.]
[singing] Vaguely Strauss, but notttt!
TTerry
I've got an idea.
[The scene cuts to a woman posing in a bikini]
What a great idea!
[The Angels' monster van crashes through the gate of the camp.]
CCrow
It's the T & A-Team!
[The bikini-clad Angels are beating the crap out of drug runners on the beach, accompanied by goofy, unrealistic sound effects.]
Right now, Benny Hill is smiling down from heaven.
[Keiko hits a captive drug dealer in the crotch with her sword.]
CCrow
It's Dworkinfest '78!
[One of Burke's guard dogs threatens his henchman Farrell (Jack Palance).]
CACrow [as Farrell/Palance]
Oh, no! He saw City Slickers II.
[Middle-aged drug enforcer Farrell tries to inconspicuously approach schoolteacher/vigilante April]
FFarrell
May I speak to you for a moment please?
CACrow [as Farrell]
'It's about my report card.
AApril
Yes? What can I do for you?
SAServo [as Farrell]
What's this "Incomplete" crap?
I don't have any lines.
CCrow
But you get to wear slinky dresses and carry guns and stuff!
Not this sister! [Leaves]
I feel so insignificant!
S6The Amazing Transparent Man
[The short about industrial accidents opens with a quote: "The days of our years are three score and ten..." -- Psalm 90:10.]
So, we have 70 days in each year?
RReverend
Every day I'm reminded of the things that happened to the people that weren't even there.
CCrow
Oh, sure-- HUH?
[The pastor talked earlier about how all his parishioners are "accident-haters". We see a shot of a sad little girl sitting on the steps of a church immediately following a funeral.]
CACrow [as Little Girl]
[guiltily] I didn't hate accidents enough...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.