My Parents Are Aliens quotes

Josh

All this time he could have turned me in, but he hasn't.

Brian

Yeah, what an idiot!

You think you're a better father than God?

Brian

Put it this way, he didn't exactly save his son from the Romans, did he? (looks worried) Don't worry, Lucy, if they come for you, I've got a plan.

Brian

Today we plant the seeds of doubt, tomorrow we water the flowers of insanity.

So, tomorrow's the big date.

Date?

Josh

[quickly] Fight.

Pete wants to fight?

With me. Pete wants to fight with me. He said it to me.

But he was looking at me.

Josh

He's got a squint.

Where were you originally from?

Sophie

[morphed as Mel] Nowhere. I-I mean, Earth.

I merely encouraged a selection of fabulous ingredients to have a taste party at gas mark delicious.

Brian

Cupid hath peirthed their heartth with hith arrowth.

Sophie

Thorry?

Sophie

Those are my pants.

Brian

And that's my bra!

Brian

Shakespeare, by Romeo and Juliet.

Sophie

Something with gold and diamonds.

Brian

Something like that, yeah.

Sophie

No, something with gold and diamonds.

Brian

I am half-man, half-moose! I am a moose-man!

Brian

Prick me! Do I not bleed?

Josh

Yeah, but it's green.

Josh

Your pants are on fire!

Are you calling me a liar, Barker?

Josh

No, I'm saying your trousers are technically aflame.

Brian

Hello there. Do you have any dragons? [pause] Well, do you have anything that looks like a dragon? [pause] A lizard, you say? Does it breathe fire? [pause] No. Well, okay, can I come and chop off its head anyway? [pause] Actually, I'm not sure it's possible to do that to yourself.

Apart from your foul cooking, you're the best mother we've ever had.

Sophie

What — even better than your real one?

Well, I wouldn't know much about that.

Sophie

But I probably am.

Sophie

Or...maybe not.