Mr. Show quotes
217 total quotesGreat great great grandfather Applesway (Paul F. Tompkins): Look! LOOK!!! An entire wall of nothing but hardcore gay anal sex. If that doesn't bring a tear to your eye, then you're the one who's inhuman!
Greg Sniper's accountant (Bob): Goats are stupid, mean, and hardheaded animals. That's why they're called "Nature's President".
Greg Sniper's accountant (Bob): He spent a hundred million dollars on a campaign to legalize tomatoes, which I assume worked, because I had a tomato yesterday, and I'm not in jail, am I?
Harmon Peterson (Bob): I don't know! Maybe this tree knows! Tree, excuse me, can you predict the future for me? No? Can I check back with you every two minutes for sixteen days? Great! Thanks!! Look - when I say there's no new information, that means there's NO NEW INFORMATION! I'm not trying to hide anything on ya, OK?!
Judge in "Coupon: The Movie" trial (Bob): May I remind you that I am not on trial here ... until next week.
Keith, U.S. Customs Agent (Bob): OK, sir, let's get this straight. Where are you coming from?
Mountain Dougie (David): New Freeland.
Keith, U.S. Customs Agent (Bob): Where is that?
Mountain Dougie (David): Montana.
Keith, U.S. Customs Agent (Bob): So you're already a U.S. Citizen.
Mountain Dougie (David): No, I told you, I'm from New Freeland.
Mountain Dougie (David): New Freeland.
Keith, U.S. Customs Agent (Bob): Where is that?
Mountain Dougie (David): Montana.
Keith, U.S. Customs Agent (Bob): So you're already a U.S. Citizen.
Mountain Dougie (David): No, I told you, I'm from New Freeland.
Movie exec boss (John Ennis): We'll sue the pants off of 'em!!!
Movie exec (Bob): And then we'll sell them pants!
Movie exec (Bob): And then we'll sell them pants!
Movie exec with cat eyes (David): Where's your golden public now? I'll tell you where. They're all laughing. Laughing at you. They're laughing at the big fat asshole.
Mr. Applesway (Bob): Keep it down! There's people trying to masturbate down here!
Nathan, the exotic animal lover (David): Just like I killed Bilbo...and the cockatiel...with a book!