BBob
Hey, who wants a banana?
DVDingle, the ventriloquism dummy (David)
Why don't you suck my eight inches of redwood?
KBKiller B. Killed (Jonathan Fowler Jr.)
I don't know, man. These guys got their fuckin' talkin' dolls in here 'n' shit.
MProfessor Murder (Sam Sarpong)
What?! I ain't no Professor Pickles!
PVPickles, the ventriloquism dummy (Bob)
Yeah, don't mess with the East Coast!
MProfessor Murder (Sam Sarpong)
Look, I don't need you defending me, you Howdy-Doody-lookin' motherfucker. I'm outta here!
PVPickles, the ventriloquism dummy (Bob)
Yeah, I'm with him!
MProfessor Murder (Sam Sarpong)
Man, step off!
JHJerry, the hanged guy (David)
Say, by any chance, are you a murderer?
WMWife of Mark, the lyncher (Jill Talley)
NO!
JHJerry, the hanged guy (David)
Oh, good. Then your children will only be half murderer.
DDDelongpre Dannon's talkshow guest (David)
Fake girl, you oughta be able to have your imaginary baby, because the most wonderful thing in the world is to be an imaginary mother.
PSProspective Shoe Court Shoe Store employee (Bob)
It was great. It's crack. It gets ya real high.
SCShoe Court Shoe Store interviewer (Paul F. Tompkins)
I am a control-freak because I was molested by my parents... Oh, God! What a breakthrough!
SCShoe Court Shoe Store employee (Jay Johnston)
Have you ever taken a train and eaten it piece by piece... after you just derailed it with your penis?
PSProspective Shoe Court Shoe Store employee (Bob)
Yes...It was for charity!
CCCriminy Craffft (David)
Eatin' an orange? That was like takin' a trip through a citrus mountain.
HJHallucino-Jenny (unknown)
I can taste colors!
HGHelpful guy in Druggachussetts (John Ennis)
And remember, only take what you can handle, and always know your dealer!
MOMayor O.D. McCrack (unknown)
As mayor of the altered state of Druggachusettes, I declare this pizza to be...awesome!
Hey, fancy pants, you weren't in this one.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mr. Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.