“The Cry of a Hungry Baby” quotes from Mr. Show

Y'all wear condoms on both your ears, I think it's funny. [Cough and groan]

David attended public schools, so he confuses Hitler with Anne Frank.

Bob missed his first day of school, and he never really caught up, so he thinks there are only 5 states...and that one of them is named Chim-Cham.

You fuckers are gonna believe it now.

Take a picture, it'll last longer, jag-off!

I was born... out of Satan's ass.

When I ask for a glass of water and someone hands me a glass full of sand, I turn it over, make a sand castle, and pretend I'm king. When someone throws a stone at my head, I pretend the bruise is a faded tattoo, and that I was once a sailor who ran a sweat shop in Singapore. I'm not too proud of that time in my imaginary life, but I'm comforted by the fact that my friends, who made me stick a banana in my crack, feel even worse.