How do they expect us to survive on single benefits when there's two of us?
I'm not sure the benefit system was designed for situations like ours. Go and see Mum and Dad. See if you can't guilt-trip them into giving you some money. Steal if you have to. Dad usually keeps a couple of quid under that... crappy polar bear paperweight thing. Look, I'm not your slave. Go and get some crisps. Cheese and onion.
Dark Rudy No, fuck it, let's go exotic, prawn cocktail. Do you want to be Rudy One, or do you want to be Rudy Two? I'll be... Rudy Too, spelled T, double O, because I am.
I get it. Will you... what's wrong with me toothbrush?
Dark Rudy You don't have a toothbrush.
I'm sharing with Finn.
Dark Rudy Does he know that?
Does he need to know that?
Look, you take care of your teeth and I'll take care of mine.
You really are a petty, selfish little man. There's no crisps for you. Just fuck off.
[Mutters] Yeah.
Fuck it.
I'll be Rudy Too - T, double O, because I am." You fucking...
What, did you forget something? Is that a ukulele? What the bloody hell are you doing with that?
You know them things remind me of him. Yeah, well, when you're locked in a prison cell 23 hours a day, there's not much else to do than masturbate and play ukulele.
What? No hug? What are you doing here?
I came to see you. I feel the least you owe me is an apology for getting me sent down.
I don't know what you're talking about, mate.
You two sent me out to get us some Curly Wurlys. The police just so happened to know exactly where I'd be.
You're a fucking psychopath. You're a liability, mate. You nearly battered that guy half to death.
I taught him a valuable lesson.
You bit his frigging ear off.
Well, he should've listened to me. What's the point in having ears if you're not gonna use 'em?
Yeah, what about his nose?
His nose was just for the comedy. I've got a present for you.
Have you?
I believe this is yours. [Holds out three chocolate bars]
Ah, you're all right. I've gone off them. They're...they're very sugary. You know...
Take it. Take it!
I don't want to.
[Screams with excess spit spraying] TAKE THE FUCKING CANDY BAR! Take it! Take it, take it!
Fuck it. [Takes the candy bars]
What do you say?
Thank you.
That wasn't so bad, was it?!
Please, please...
Bye-bye.
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