Kelly: A fat woman comes to the gate today. Her muumuu covering what must have been three or four heinies. Now she could exit through an itty-bitty turnstile or a huge gate. Guess which one she chooses. A line was forming. So I went and got a tub of butter from the Delta Burke "Let's Get Big" exhibit and oiled her up. Then I went over to Star Trek Land, hotwired the Enterprise and sent it up where no man has gone before. She goes flying like a vegetable out of Dad's mouth, right into "The Facts of Life" fan club pavilion. Thank God it's always empty. Can somebody give me a reason to live?

  »   More Quotes from Married... with Children
  »   Back to the TV Quotes Database