(to Naomi) I'd be uncomfortable, too, if I were dressed in that get-up.
Just what is wrong with my attire? I've always found this outfit very suitable for religious occasions.
That's cause you got to pray to God it stays up!
VVint
If only we had a spoon we could dig our way out.
Real good, Vinton. If we had a bar of soap we could carve ourselves a gun and shoot our way out.
I'm not about to spend my afternoon getting all hot and sweaty over some slimy slug. (about Thelma's garden)
Why not? That's the way you spend your nights!
VVint
Mama, you never could throw anything out, no matter how useless it is.
It's a lucky thing for you!
(Knocks on the door.)
VVint
Mama?
No, It's Mr.T FOOL!!!
You don't think I'm pregnant, do you?
Tell me something, Naomi. Are you late?
Late for what?
Do I have to come right out and say it? Mr. Monthly Visitor!
Yeah! Oh, Miss Harper, how did this happen?
Do you want me to draw you a picture?
You're skatin' on thin ice old lady!
Looks like you write all of your promises in disappearing ink old lady. Like the time when you promised me when I was twelve years old a two wheeler. Well I have yet to see that sucker! But Ellen, everytime I turned around there a brand new Schwinn sittin' under her fat fanny!
Hello everybody! Eunice is here. Unwanted Eunice. Untalented Eunice! Caterwauling Eunice!! MONSTER EUNICE IS HERE!!! (she throws the box of party decorations)
Uhh-oohhhhhh!!
Mama don't you ever read? Why People Magazine just this week said that chili dogs is all the rage in Hollywood. Merv Griffin gave a party, and Pia Zadora put away six of these suckers.
(Speaking of Duke Reeves) His parents were trying to avoid a lawsuit so they sent the boy over to apologize for nearly gettin' you killed out in front of the school that day.
That's not true!
It is! You hounded that boy so bad he had to jump in the car to get away from you and you went tearin' down the street after him hangin' on to the back of the car.
That's a lie!
And he went around the corner and you went slidin' into the gravel and you got yourself all skinned up. You were a lunatic where that Duke Reeves was concered and everybody knew it. Didn't they Vint?
VVint
Well I don't know about everybody...
Oh you shut up!
VVint
What smells so good?
It's Naomi's Famous International Heartburn.
BBubba
What smells so good?
It's Naomi's Famous Dinner In A Drum.
IIola
What smells so good?
I swear, if I made gym socks, everyone would want a taste!
NNurse
If I have to, I will call security.
You can call the damn marines if you want to, we ain't budging!
Uhh-ohhhhh!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mama's Family pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.