Thomas Magnum quotes from Magnum, P.I.

Magnum

Higgins, you yo-yo!

Magnum

[narrates] So far this case had cost me my right to the wine cellar, the last cash in my pocket, and nearly my life. If that clerk was lying to me, I was gonna come back down here and shove that Robin Masters paperback in his ear!

Magnum

[narrates] There are times when one human being really shouldn't take advantage of another... but this wasn't one of them.

Magnum

I'm trying to tie up the loose ends, Floyd, you know, like those TV detectives.

Magnum

[after Higgins' dogs each deliver a note to his door] First note was from Cindy. She said Higgins was going to the club, and she'd asked if she could tag along. She hoped I didn't mind. And then she thanked me again for helping her, and told me I was wonderful. The second note was from Higgins. I really can't repeat what he said. Let me put it this way –- he didn't think I was wonderful.

Magnum

[narrates] I know what you're thinking. After the phoney beach attack, I should have said goodbye to Louise. But you know something, I was starting to have a good time. Maybe she wasn't the only one who had fantasies about famous detectives who are heroes.

Magnum

[narrating] Hawaii's like every sensual woman I've ever known. She can have raging, violent bursts of temper, followed by incredible calm and peacefulness. Today was one of those days of true serenity, when even the great tourist wave seems to recede. I mean, I couldn't believe the stillness.

Magnum

This was one of those days I wish I'd listened to my mother and studied to be an orthodontist. Looking into someone's mouth has gotta be better than staring death in the face.

Magnum

[narrating] If I believed in ghosts, I'm sure I'd be frightened by now, but, since I didn't, the pounding in my chest must have been due to exertion.

Magnum

[narrating] If any place looked like it should be haunted, it was the old Clifford Estate. The overgrowth and the cobwebs were all legit. Not that I was scared; but I did make a point of going in the daytime.

Magnum

[to Yuri] Remember I told you I didn't like getting egg on my face? Well, right now, I'm wearing a whole omelet.

Magnum

[narrating] Dreams are supposed to represent your subconscious wishes and conflicts. It's sort of a private movie you write, produce and direct. Only you can't hide your eyes in your dreams, even when they are scaring you to death.

Magnum

[narrating] One of the clichés of my profession is that to get information from a bartender you have to slip him some bills of various denominations; Bills that you can't afford, with pictures of unfamiliar presidents. And usually for information that isn't worth it. However, this was a special case and I wasn't in the mood for games.

Magnum

[narrating] Another cliché about getting information from bartenders is that no matter how sincere they sound, you know as soon as you're out the door, they're on the phone warning the guy you want to see. And this guy didn't strike me as being particularly different.

Magnum

[narrating] The death of a friend's never an easy thing to take, not in a rice paddy or on a pretty beach on Oahu. Either way, when they're young, it never makes sense.