Mad · Season 1
Actually, I'll stick with my lab partners.
Phineas and Ferb?
Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna today. Make a better science project then the Straight A-Team.
Not if we can help it. Quick, boys! Grab what you can. We'll show Hideous and Nerd here who the better builders are.
Guy in Bathroom (voice only, as the guy's taking the toilet seat) Hey, I was using that!
Hey, where's Perry?
[Agent P has the remote in his hand, The Straight A-Team gasps, Agent P pushes the button and the van blows up taking The Straight A-Team with it.]
[Chatters]
Nice work, boys! I know I promised you an A, but are you okay with an A+ instead?
Yes, yes I am.
We got jobs!
Yay! As matadors? [screams]
¡AY Carly! And Freddie takes over the show! Oh no!
Hi, I'm Carly and I'm Sam...and I'm confused.
¡AY Carly! Plus, Spencer gets into some hot water!
Uh, it's not water, it's soup.
¡AY Carly! All this and more on an all new ¡AY Carly! ¡AY Carly! Followed by SpongeRoberto SquarePants!
I'm ready!
I'm afraid you know too much, Buzz.
You'll never get away with this, Lotso! Pixar movies are sad in the middle, and sometimes at the beginning, but never at the end!
(Lotso snaps his fingers. Big Baby comes in with a screwdriver)
Wait! What are you doing?!
Hmmm. "Resetting your Buzz Lightyear."
(Big Baby removes the screws and is about to switch Buzz from "Play Mode" to "Demo Mode".)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
(Buzz ends up being relocated in a bath tub, unconscious. Along sails a Fisher Price ship.)
Whoever he is, his batteries are gonna rust if he's left in the tub too long.
(Buzz has been lifted up into the sailors' boat and placed on a bunk.)
Not bad for two guys with no arms.
' '[jumps up] Who am I?! [punches one of the sailors] I have no memory! [kicks the other] Who are you?! [then slaps him] What's my name?!
We don't know. It wasn't... on your underwear...
Oh, no! [pause] You checked my underwear?
Good to see you again, Buzz.
How do you know my name? Did you look at my underwear?!
Everything Ken told you was a lie!
Even the cake?!
No, the cake is real. And extremely rich!
[finding out the store's closet] Aw, man! Why is it always closed? How am I gonna get these rags clean?
[watching Two And a Half Men] So that's what that looks like. Heh.
More like black and white!
Wait just a second! [Everyone gasps] Who did this to my backpack?
[Everyone stares at her with just one look]
I have such a concussion. I can't remember!
Is that an octopus?
Gee, I don't know. I've never actually looked behind me.
Eh, what's up cop?
I thought you lived underground.
The rent was too high, so I moved into a cul-de-sac.
Well, could you keep it do-- what the?
[last lines]
(voice only) Why is MAD always a rerun?
Wow, this place is great. Look at all the restaurants that welcome bees! Wait 'till they get a load a'--
(Ko-Bee stops at the Kobe Bryant billboard)
What the--?! But he-- but I-- That guy stole my reasonable good looks, and my tattoo!
Why don't you sue him in court?
Sue him in court? 'Cause that would be really boring to watch. I'll do something better.
All right, I get it. Bee Movie was boring!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mad pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.