Mad Season 1 quotes

[finds out the girl disguise falls off from his tail] Alright, who's the wise guy that tricked me into dating my own tail? [other snakes laugh at him] Real funny. I'm not paying for this meal, you know?

I think he's carrying your stepmom right now.

I'm not even gonna look.

Now he's coming back to freeze your dad.

I'm sure it's just some misunderstanding/

Now he's kicking the White House with his foot.

I don't want to hear that.

[as the spaceship explodes the White House] And now the White House is blown up by related aliens.

And they all became toilet paper. The end.

All right, Dave. How hot is the sun?

[voice only] It's uh, hot. Really hot. I mean, my gosh; it's so... [explodes, dies]

Dave? Dave?

Well, don't look at me. I'm just a dog. Woof! [people scream, ship sucks into a black hole; closing the segment]

Thanks a lot, Superman! I ruined another clip-on!

This bread is stale!

Oh, yeah. That's why I'm feeding it to ducks.

[in Law & Claw] Look, bub; in the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: right claws and left claws.

"Jimmy was he"? What does that mean?

Still nothing?

Not yet?

[groans] I took this job too early.

Golf: If only it were like that.

Owls: don't be fooled by their wisdom.

[crushed by a blue shoe due to the title "Rise of the Guardians II"] Forget the movie! Someone get this shoe off me!

Crate & Arrow: We've got crates and arrows, but the crates are holding the arrows. We don't sell them, so stop asking.

My chair's broken! Usher want to see! Usher want to see!

And we have a winner!

Usher don't like-y! [flies, attacks Vanessa]