TV show quotes
[voice-over narration]
[sneezes loudly]
Anyone who sounds like this should be home in bed. The fact is, I was but after a weekend of hearing myself sneeze, I was desperate. So, here I am, searching for the ingredients to old home remedy.
Excuse me, could you tell me where where I could find some eucalyptus leaves?
(sarcastically) Australia.
Thanks for your help.
Like most kids growin' up in Minnesota, I could skate before I could walk. So when my old coach sent a call for help, I jumped at the chance to come home and coach his team through the state championship playoffs. The Raiders had fought hard to find themselves in this best of three final against the Waverly Hawks. All I had to do was keep them on track. Hockey was the easy part. The hard part was the team's key player. Number 17, Derek Kirby. He was the team's biggest asset and my biggest problem. And as usual, right there at home in the penalty box.
[voice-over narration] Three and a half weeks. Two continents, five countries, one island, about nine thousand miles and I was wasted. Right now, I was looking forward to miles and miles of nothing happening, except sleep.
Welcome home!
No.
Ah, the man's overcome with emotion.
No, just overcome.
I just taped over some old movie.
My classic western collection!
We're officially crooks until we square with the police. Which means we should get a line on those jewels.
MacGyver, we're wanted criminals; we just broke out of a torture chamber by slugging an inspector of police and the head of security for the richest woman in the universe.
We've got no choice. Either we're innocent—or we're dead.
[regarding her valuable jewellery] Did you see them on television?
Oh yeah.
And what did you think?
I think it's kind of a flashy way of telling people you're rich.
You would probably give them to a campaign for hunger.
Yeah.
And save a few lives for what, six months, a year? Until they breed more starving children and the money runs out, and then what?
Then you'd have bought another year. You can do a lot in a year.
Well. Sorry to bust in on you like this.
What kept ya?
Are we great or what. What a team and since we're already all here together, I heard about this sunken treasure. Fifty million dollars in Nazi gold. See, this ship was torpedoed right off the coast and the gold was lost. All we gotta do is get a diving bell and three bathing suits and...
MacGyver.
Mr. Remick.
Its beautiful, isn't it? And it won't change, you know. I mean, I - I don't know what you think you're protecting. We don't want to see it change, either. The beauty of this land enhances the value of our own investment. I mean, you think we're fools; act against our own interests?
I think your company's first priority is to get your marina built.
Maybe we could get together some time and compare notes over a cup of coffee.
I don't drink coffee.
Neither do I.
This is a two billion dollar project, MacGyver. The interest on that money alone could run well over a hundred million dollars a year, while you're busy delaying this thing. Which is something you'd know if you live in the real world.
I live in the real world, Remick. This one.
MacGyver, the big people play their games. The world is wired a certain way. All we can do is... try to make it work for ourselves.
Now see, I don't believe that. I think we're all in this together. That's why I'm not gonna let them stop me.
Mr. Knapp is directly responsible for a conspiracy to commit murder.
That's outrageous.
This is libelous. You have no proof of such an absurd accusation.
Yes, we do, Mr. Knapp. We have direct testimony.
[Deborah entering room in handcuffs] Don't be so surprised. I'm a negotiator, Mr. Knapp. You know that. Testifying against you is just the best deal I could make.
[voice-over narration] Some people spend their lives trying to move up in the world. My friend, Jack Dalton, was at the top of that list. A dreamer who wakes up every morning with a new idea that will rocket him to the top of the economical ladder. The trouble is, because he was always in such a big hurry to get there, he'd take the kind of shortcuts that would drop him a rung lower. Living in this neighborhood was the result of his last shortcut.
Oh, come on, Mac. Where's your sense of adventure? What happened to that will o' the wisp guy I've come to know and love?
He's skiing. At a resort, where the greatest danger is an overpopulated hot tub.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's MacGyver pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
