Louie quotes from Lucky Louie

Louie

The day you get married you realize "Shit! I can't leave now. I wasn't thinking of leaving but now I REALLY can't leave".

Louie

Quit throwin your snatch at me so hard. Feels like your gonna rip my dick off.

Louie

Our kid's a fucking asshole.

Louie

Cause all married couples hate each other. The ones that don't make it are the ones that can't handle it, but we know we can handle it cause it's been there since the beginning, but we chose to be together!

What?

Louie

What do you mean "what?"

I mean "what the fuck?"

Stop thinking about money, the only thing you should be thinking about ...is all. this. ASS.

Louie

(to her ass) WE CAN'T AFFORD IT

Yeah talk to it baby.

Louie

Look. I would love to tap that ass...

So tap it!

Louie

I want to.. But my dick is too aware that your pussy is a chamber of financial ruin

Are you serious??

Louie

I'm sorry, I need at least three thousand dollars in an interest bearing account to get fully hard

Louie

You were right. She was just trying to get pregnant.

Mike

So what?

Louie

So? I gotta choose between another kid or no sex for another year.

Mike

Ahh, go ahead. Have another one. That's how life goes.

Mike

(Contemplating) You fuck. You have kids. You eat. That's all.

Mike

(Takes a drag) Look at me.