[Showing his business card to a girl he's picked up in a pub] Look! "Lovejoy and Associates!" I'm an associate.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[to Jane before dinner] By the way, when do we get nose bagged? I'm starving.
The old parts of the house pre-date the flood.
[interrupting their foreplay after spotting something in the bedroom] Jane, Jane, Jane! You know that an old portfolio always makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up!
[sarcastically] I'm glad something's in working order.
If it wasn't for the fact that I gave up worrying years ago, I'd worry about you, Eric.
[In a cautionary tone] Don't let a whiff of buried treasure and a pretty ankle turn your heads.
PPoliceman
[Referring to the critically injured Marek] Reckon he had enemies?
Only the Luftwaffe.
Oh, you're an artist?
MMarina
Yes, that's why I have no money.
KRKarel Redl
[to Lovejoy] It's reassuring you put greed before honour.
[Referring to his old girlfriend] That'll put a wrinkle in her knickers.
Doesn't strike me as the sort of girl who wears them.
Few people can resist a pit bull tax collector when he has his teeth firmly embedded in your bottom.
BBernard
We've had some real dingbats in here. You've heard about the stuffed wolf, haven't you?
Stuffed wolf?
BBernard
A couple of months ago an old geezer brought this stuffed wolf in with him - about four foot high.
The geezer?
BBernard
No, the wolf. He put it in the corner of his room, and the central heating dried it out so much the skin split open, and guess what there was inside?
Little Red Riding Hood?
[to Jane] Could you dig a little, see what comes up with the shovel?
Every good family has to have a black sheep, Jane.
[Sarcastically] Good thinking, Eric. Both gray cells working today?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lovejoy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.