You'll never make the upper classes, Lovejoy; you're too much of a snob.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Only a man with the quirks of a collector would kill for a pair of bloody guns.
If the villain we're after doesn't show at the sale, he might come after us - force his hand.
Here, hold on, Lovejoy! This guy's a desperate killer! We might be in danger!
[to Tink] He complained his job was too boring!
[At the funeral] Was he really such a great forger?
[Taking exception] Copyist! They're only a forger when they're caught.
That fifth scotch made me playful.
[to Lady Jane about Lovejoy's car] Between you and ma, your Ladyship, the only genuine antique around here is that car!
Cheeky sod! She's prractically pawing the ground - ready to be off.
[to Eric] You have as much feel for antiques as Lucretia Borgia had for embroidery.
Everyone has their price.
CMCelia Mattock
Quite. What's yours?
My pick of the lovelies.
SOSmiley O'Reilly
We'd have to be friggin' idiots to do that!
Then it's a deal. Cheers, George.
[Hearing it was Lovejoy who conned his spiral staircase] Lovejoy!
MMorgan
Lovejoy! I'll demolish that cottage of his!
Steady on. He rents that from me - but I wouldn't mind if you demolished him.
CCuthie
[Opening the door of his trailer and seeing Lovejoy] Lovejoy! What's the matter? Are you an insomniac or something?
Nine o'clock, Cuthie. Time all honest men were up.
CCuthie
Well, that let's you and me out then, doesn't it?
[Angrily] Lovejoy, you scumbag! You owe me a spiral staircase!
[to Palmer] You don't know the difference between a Farege and a French fry.
We shouldn't be out in the country piddling around like this. We should be back home trying to make a dishonest living.
Eric, do you ever get the feeling you've been someplace before?
Yeah, I went to this Judas Priest concert last year, and I thought, 'Eric, you've been here before.'
Just deja vu.
Well, not really. I'd been to see Iron Maiden there the month before.
If you're not careful, Eric, you'll end up in one of those camps.
What camps?
Those internment camps they have for Heavy Metal freaks on Foulness Island.
[Wanting to be alone with Sophy] Eric, take another walk.
Where to?
Edinburgh.
SFSophy Fairfax
Are you sure you're not a lawyer or a detective or something?
Or something.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lovejoy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.