Dr. Cal Lightman quotes from Lie to Me

Cal Lightman

I understand how you feel. If there's anyone to blame for this, I'll find them.

Cal Lightman

(happily) Hey, I've done tons of drugs. I understand completely.

Cal Lightman

No, you're going to have to learn to lie better than that if you want a real career in front of the camera.

Cal

(after discovering Emily’s birth control pills) I hope for your sake these are just Tic-Tacs.

Cal

You ever think that grown-ups are full of crap?

Cal

Usually it's cause we've made a mistake, done something wrong but we don't want to talk about it, we don't want to admit it. Which makes us hypocrites.

Cal

(To Clara) Well, to say you stopped loving someone you once loved more than anything else in the world, I mean that would be a lie. But you move on, don't you? You HAVE to move on.

Cal

(To Emily about Loker) What if I hadn't apologized.(Emily punches him in the stomach.) Ooh! Good girl.

Cal Lightman

(to mental patient) I'm just another nut case looking for answers, love.

Cal Lightman

Just getting in, Loker?

Loker

Yeah, I got piss-drunk last night with my roommate, and I was just lying in bed this morning thinking how nasty hot Nancy Grace is, and just trying to decide if I was gonna come in at all cause it's not like there's anyone in here to fantasize about.

Gillian Foster

No offence taken.

Loker

I don't go for married women.

Eli

I would like to sleep with you.

Cal Lightman

Ah, Eli Loker, Ria Torres. He's harmless, just always speaks the truth about what's on his mind. What do you call it again?

Eli

Radical honesty.

Gillian Foster

Do you still have that note, that I brought you? I want it for my office.

Cal Lightman

(handing over the note) You really are a pack rat.

Gillian Foster

You could have just told me what this was for.

Cal

No. You're a terrible liar.

Gillian Foster

Normal people think that's a good thing.

Cal Lightman

What's your content analysis of the mother?

Gillian Foster

She was definitely concealing something. When I asked her about Miss McCartney, she started referring to her as 'that woman'.

Cal Lightman

As in, 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky'

Gillian Foster

You think I'm naive just because I don't share your twisted view of the world.

Cal Lightman

That and you read romance novels.

Gillian Foster

Yes I do, because they make me happy. A pursuit I highly recommend to you.

Gillian Foster

We'd like you to come work for us, Miss Torres.

Ria

Why?

Gillian Foster

You've made seven times more arrests than the average TSA agent and you scored 97% on the TSA deception diagnostic, which Dr. Lightman created.

Cal Lightman

Have you ever had any specialized deception training?

Ria

I've dated a lot of men.

Personally, I think what you do is a joke. It's a frigging carnival act.

Cal Lightman

I get that a lot. You know, a moment ago, I saw you smile at your colleague, flash her a glance and shift your gaze. She responded by raising her chin boss, revealing deep embarrassment. I'll take another 'wild guess'. You two had a fling. She doesn't want a repeat performance because, you know, what with your wife and all... But you want to move on.

Cal Lightman

Oh no, no. Keep your fingers off your nose. Men have erectile tissue there. Itches when they're hiding something

I thought you could tell if somebody is lying just by looking at them.

Gillian Foster

The question is never simply if someone is lying. It's why

Cal Lightman

What is that?

Gillian Foster

Chocolate pudding.

Cal Lightman

Who eats pudding at ten in the morning?

Gillian Foster

People who like pudding.