Leverage · Season 1
You’re not poaching, are you? Appropriations Bill 718, those are our defense contracts, don’t even bother.
Mr. DuFort, surely there’s enough war to go around.
I rather like you.
Hardison, Hardison what’s this, what’s this bill they’re talking about?
You know, I’d like to give you the Schoolhouse Rock but this man has an RFID security card reader on his power supply so I’m a little bit busy.
[Sophie impersonates a lobbyist at a D.C. party]
My company's focused on meeting Senators, but, um, I'm thinking Congressmen.
You know the great thing about Congressmen? Fifty, a hundred grand well spent will get one elected, but then once they’re in, the incumbency rate is over 95 percent! So you can get an average 18, 20 years’ use out of one of them. In these uncertain times, buying a United States Congressman is one of the best investments a corporation can make.
[listening in on comms] Oh, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I'm a professional criminal and I find that disturbing.
[to Sophie] Rob Perry.
Sophie Devereaux. Ooh, watch those hands, Mr. Perry.
I’m in a wheelchair, I’m not blind.
The tall one? The way he used a knife? Ex-Marine. Probably Force Recon.
You ID'd a guy off his knife fighting style?
It's a very distinctive style.
What I did before, nobody got hurt.
I stole paintings.
I never hurt anybody, either.
[They all look at Eliot]
I actually hurt people, so…
When men are telling the truth, they're not looking me in the eye. A man only ever looks a woman in the eye when he's making the effort to lie to her.
Well, you can't argue with that.
Noted and filed.
You know, I, I, I still think it would be easier for me to just hack the bill in a printer queue.
No, no computers, no. A bill is put into a wooden box on the Congressional floor called the Hopper.
A wooden-- Whoa, whoa, whoa. A wooden…a wooden box?
A wooden box.
Wood?
Yeah.
Oh, we can put a man on the moon, but all our laws go into a wooden box.
I mean, break a law, everybody’s done that, my mama’s done that, but steal a law. Oh, she’s gonna be a legend, baby!
The eagle has landed.
It’s in!
Uhn! Go ahead, girl! Sexyness! Unh. Rrrnnn.
Might want to ease up on that a little bit.
Just saying.
Yeah.
Between me and you. Between me and you.
Never leaves the room.
How's Washington?
Villains, con-men, wolves in sheep's clothing. Felt right at home.
There it is. It’s 541.
Hold up Rambo. So, no lasers, no motion detectors, no vibration sensors, no--whoops.
Whoops? What whoops?
There’s a webcam, I’m picking up its broadcast on my phone.
Oh, I see it. Up on that pole.
[Eliot walks away]
I just have to spoof the IP address and overlay a digital duplicate over the WiFi…
[Eliot comes back with a rock he throws at the webcam, which shatters]
Or that.
Let’s go, come on.
I’m sorry it was too far away for you to punch, I’m sure that really frustrates you.
I don’t know, what is it, two, three hundred million in US currency? What’s it doing in Iraq?
We sent it there.
What?
Beginning of the Iraq War, my old company helped insure the largest currency transfer in history. Billions and billions in ones, fives and twenties, all cash. Sent to Iraq for reconstruction.
Bribes.
As needed. Nine billion went missing.
Wait, billion? With a ‘b’? Nine billion dollars of US taxpayer money just disappeared.
I'd never thought I'd say this, ever, but that is just way too much money to steal.
No, you're not going to steal it. You don't remember? You're the good guys now! You're gonna give it back.
They changed the lock.
Just do what you do. I mean, whatever, what you need, ah, uh…
[Parker pulls out a small bomb from her toolbelt]
Nah. Uh-uh. Stop all that playing. Hell no.
Open it.
Okay, I see what this is. This is racial. This is about my ethniticity, ain’t it? Uh huh. It’s cause I’m Jewish...Just cause a brother likes matzoball soup, what’s wrong with that? Sammy Davis…
Is this stolen?
Not anymore.
What are we supposed to do with it?
Pay for Corporal Perry’s rehab.
And some other guys’ rehabs.
Pretty much whatever you want.
Doc, a cute blonde shows up with a couple million dollars, I say we take the win. Thank you.
Corporal, Thank you. Thank you.
The world doesn't work this way.
So change the world.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Leverage pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
