Will you stop now?
NNate
I don't know.
Interesting.
NNate
Hmm?
You admitting you don't know something.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You are not the man I married.
NNate
Well, what do you think of this version?
I don't love him. But I might like him a little more.
Yeah, you know, I'm sure the reviews will be... (Sophie hands Hardison her phone) …on the news website already.
(grabs the phone) Really? Wow. "Never before has a production of 'The Sound Of Music' made me root for the Nazis."
You quit drinking?
NNate
Yep.
You quit drinking.
NNate
Sure did.
You quit drinking? How'd you know about this place then?
NNate
I rent a condo upstairs.
You rent a condo above the bar?
NNate
That's right.
Well, that's very…Catholic.
No. No, no, no. Stop it. There is nothing you can say that's gonna make me feel better.
I know what could make you feel better. We should steal something.
NNate
No, no.
Yes! We could do it together.
I like this. Get right back up on the bike.
Bike of crime.
NNate
Didn't you earlier tell me how great your new lives were?
I stole the Hope Diamond.
NNate
What?
And then I put it back. Yeah. Because I was bored. Didn't care.
I spent three days hacking White House e-mail. No buzz.
See?
But we are doing some hinky stuff in Pakistan. Hinky.
Look, I'm miserable, they're miserable. [to Eliot] Okay, what-what have you been doing the last six months?
…I was in Pakistan.
You see what you did? You took the world's best criminals, hitter, [Eliot points] hacker, grifter, [Sophie raises her hand] thief, [Parker raises her hand] you took us and you broke us.
NNate
No, no, I…what I did, I taught you how to help people. That's, that's all.
Exactly.
Yeah
This is the problem, though, with being the good guy. You…you…it gets under your skin.
Look, Nate. You have to some poor little lost soul somewhere that needs a little extra-legal aid.
NNate
Look, we all…we agreed that we would just move on.
Yeah, but…we're…we're thieves.
[Parker walks out of Nate's kitchen dressed as a nun]
She's dressed that way 'cause she's doing a con.
NNate
What, you thought she was dressed like a nun for no reason?
It's Parker.
NNate
Eh, fair enough.
NNate
Okay, I want you out of my house. Out. I'm getting cleaned up. I'm going upstairs. I want all this stuff out of here. I want you guys out of here. I'm not a part of this.
Okay.
NNate
Not a part of this. This is you guys.
We got it.
NNate
If you want to do this thing, you're on your own.
Eliot: Fine.
NNate
Understood?
Uh-huh.
(Nate walks away)
(to Eliot) So, you going?
I'm not going anywhere. The man has 700 sports channels.
I did look for you. For six months.
Done. The key. Done.
(Hardison opens the kit and pulls out the finished master key, using it on the box Parker is picking)
I think people are like locks. Really complicated and frustrating. But you can't force them. You have to take time and be fiddly.
Fiddly?
You learn to be patient, and just wait until you hear the... (the lock opens and the door swings wide)
We could open every box in here with that key.
Focus.
We could steal everything. Clean them out.
Focus.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
NNate
Now, this is not gone. This is more.
Yeah, I, uh, I scanned the documents in Leary's box, but I wanted to print out a few pages.
NNate
I asked—I asked Eliot to get rid of this stuff. Now there's more stuff.
Did you? Oh, we-we crossed, but didn't see each other. He didn't tell me.
NNate
Oh, that's how you're gonna play this?
Wait, so if these are supposed to be just fake businesses, how come their financials are so squeaky clean?
NNate
Because they're fake businesses. I mean, come on, it's right there. I mean, I'm just saying.
(they all look at each other)
NNate
What? Sophie, how, how do you catch mob guys?
Uhh, two glasses of Chianti and a story about my grandmom in Sicily.
NNate
How does the government catch mob guys?
SESophie, Eliot, & Hardison
Taxes.
That's how they got Capone.
That's how they get everybody. Yeah, they never get you for the crime; they always get you for the taxes. It's not really fair.
That's why the businesses are clean; they're dirty from the inside.
NNate
Well, yeah, I mean, if you have a body in the trunk of your car, you're gonna drive under the speed limit, aren't you?
You know, when you're sober, your metaphors get creepier.
NNate
I mean, it's perfect. You know, I don't even think it's illegal. I mean, if we were gonna do this, this job—
Just this one job.
NNate
Yes, just this one.
Yeah.
NNate
I mean, the con that you'd want to do...
Hypothetically.
NNate
...hypothetically, you know, is, the turnabout, of course.
Oh, that is a good one.
You know, it takes… five people to do the turnabout.
That's true.
Hmm.
There's just the four of us.
Need one more person.
NNate
We've got to scare the banker into turning against the mob. All right. All right, we'll do this job. Just this one.
Oh, well.
If you really want.
If you insist.
Great.
We're on board.
NNate
Now, if you'll excuse me, I am gonna go call a professional killer who tried to murder me, and arrange to meet him in an isolated location.
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