Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Season 1 quotes

Fin

[on phone] I'm not tryin' to be difficult. Odafin Tutuola. Tutuola! You need me to spell it for you? C'mon!

You need anger management, Captain.

And you need to kiss my ass!

We got called out on a domestic case. The husband and wife were going at each other, as soon as we walked in the door, I didn't see the gun. Cooper jumped in front of me and held the bullet in his hand.

Benson

And you've been repaying the favor since?

He saved my life.

Benson

He did it for 2 Mercedes and a condo.

Benson

You wouldn't do what they did.

Fin

It's not like I haven't thought about it, every cop alive has.

Benson

There's a difference in thinking about it and actually doing it.

Listen to me, Detective. You ever speak to me that way again, and I'll make damn sure the police commissioner hears about it. We play golf together.

Stabler

Does he know about your handicap?

My handicap?

Stabler

The one that makes you slap your wife around? Well, good. I've got your attention. You raise to hand to her or your daughters again, I'll be payin' you a visit.

Is that a threat?

Stabler

Yeah.

Munch

Excuse me if I’m alarmed by the total disregard for human rights in this country.

Fin

If you got a problem with it, why don’t you get your bony ass outta here?

Someone killed a child. It's our duty to speak for the victim.

So now we’re the pregnancy police? We're violating a woman's rights for what amounts to a Hail Mary.

This isn’t about abortion rights, Alex. We are talking about a one-month-old infant.

Okay, so what if that does work? What are we supposed to do, question every single woman who bought an EPT kit at the drugstore?

Andrea Brown ground up a lethal dose of antidepressants and fed it to her baby. The defense doesn't dispute these facts, but they argue Mrs. Brown acted out of the noblest of motives. Let's examine these motives. Andrea Brown had an extramarital affair and got pregnant. When she found out the baby wasn't her husband's, did she tell him? No. Did she tell Steve Kellerman that he was the father? No. Did she tell Dr. Platner when pressuring him for a prescription, an act she knew could land him in prison? No. From the start, Andrea Brown's primary concern was preserving her marriage, her image, and her lifestyle by hiding at all costs her affair. She knew that the longer Sarah was alive, the greater the chances someone would find out that Daniel Brown was not the father. So she killed her daughter, a helpless child who had not yet begun to suffer the effects of Tay Sachs. All of this to conceal the fact that she'd slept with another man. The defense would have you believe this was an act of mercy. It wasn't. This is a clear-cut case of murder.

What if it was your daughter? What would you have done?

Munch

Whatever I could.

I used to think I was alone. Now I know I'm not. You want to lock us up? Go ahead. That won't shut us up. There are millions of us, and we aren't going away.

Tough gig. Gotta love it, though.

Stabler

No, you gotta hate it. That's the only way you'll be any good at it.

Thank you. You've offered a provocative theory. What it lacks in substance, it makes up for in pretty colors.

So...say I had the urge to call opposing counsel an uptight, self-righteous little bitch. My frontal lobe knows that means sanctions and it keeps my mouth shut.

Stabler

You call beating the crap out of her intense? Huh? You little prick. You did this to her.

Yes, I did do this, but she wanted me to.

Benson

No! No woman wants this!

Carmen did! This was her thing!

Benson

So you beat and rape her because it was "her thing"?

What have you done?

I let you turn my son into a monster!