That's the problem with most men: they want what they can't get and don't want what they have.
No, the problem with men is they talk too much.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Botox works by paralyzing the--the nerves around the facial muscles, doesn't it?
Does it look like I'd know?
What's 1 check, when you can marry the checkbook?
RReyfield
It wasn't an accident. Is that what you're inferring?
You mean "implying", the listeners "infer".
And detectives "speculate", since we don't know the cause of death yet.
GGarcia
It's a wonderful painting. So full of hope.
Well, it certainly is, umm… full of something.
They drove around for half an hour and then went back to Garcia House.
They let one of them out. He had to go to the bathroom, so they let him take a pee off the pier.
Off the pier? That's compassion.
I won't go near a grand jury if your only evidence is the ramblings of a lone deranged individual.
How 'bout the ramblings of ten deranged individuals?
[about the Van Gogh paintings in Dysart's waiting room] Now, are you a fan, or are these up here to convince your patients they have eye problems?
DDysart
I put them up to invite ridiculous questions.
[to Goren, about Stevens] I didn't know you had an older, geekier brother.
We arrested his girlfriend.
She probably has the money. Women like money.
So do men.
That's because women like men with money.
Marston is sitting pretty high in the saddle.
Let's put a burr under that saddle.
DDietrich
One thing I learned in prison, Mom, is not to kill the girls I have sex with.
[to Chantal] Mark, he told us that there's 3 varieties of murder groupies: victims, psychos, and shrinks.
He said with you he's got "3 mints in 1."
He shoots wild....probably one-handed, cocked to one side.
[sarcastically] Like in the gangsta flicks.
MWMilton Winters
It's these cops! They're trying to kill me! They're after me!
For once, you're right -- we are after you. Milton Winters, you're under arrest!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Law & Order: Criminal Intent pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.