“Dead on His Feet” quotes from Kojak

Lt. Theo Kojak

[dripping with sarcasm] Hey look, Deidre, I'm sorry I missed your coming out party. I hear you were crowned Miss Silicone, is that right?

Hey, Kojak, did you come here to break in a nightclub act or was there something special you wanted?

Lt. Theo Kojak

Hey, Counselor, you tell your client to have his mouth behave, or he's a prime candidate for a get-well card.

[raises voice] He threatened me! You heard that, he threatened me!

Lt. Theo Kojak

Greeks, they don't threaten. They utter prophecies.

Do you want it straight?

I don't want it at all. I'd give anything for a ten-foot pole I didn't have to touch it with. It's the big casino, isn't it?

Advanced stomach cancer. Malignant and inoperable.

Lt. Theo Kojak

Hey, Benny, if it wasn't for you, Eddie Ryan would've had as much razzle-dazzle as a wet firecracker.

Is that what you think? Is that what you think Eddy Ryan was like? A grandstander? Well, let me tell you something: Eddie Ryan had more guts than anyone on this island. What do you think got him killed?

Lt. Theo Kojak

Dumb got him killed. Dead is not guts. Dead is dumb.

Flora was asking for you. She wants to know how come she hasn't seen you anymore in the deli.

Oh yeah? Well next time you see her tell her I'm on bivouac with a gorilla.

Lt. Theo Kojak

In the alley you couldn't see anything. And the alley was so dark you couldn't find your mouth with a $5 pizza.