Peggy, have you seen this morning's Bystander?
No.
Nobody has. Channel 84 must have gotten tired of being scooped and stolen them all.
Well, that's not quite the case.
I gotta hand it to them, this is a real step up from them toilet papering my lawn. Hey, we should go tear down their antenna.
Roddy Rae, wait. Channel 84 did not steal our papers. I did. (hands Biffel a letter) I just wanted to write for the paper so bad, I didn't care where I got my ideas. Of course, the mustard gas one was mine.
"In conclusion, I was so busy trying to figure out how to remove the stains that I forgot about the people who actually create them." Peggy, have you heard of a newspaper called The New York Times?
Apparently they have a very challenging puzzle.
You think they got their facts straight all the time? No way. Hell, half the time it seems like they're making it up as they go along. I don't need you for facts, Peggy. We got a fact checker for that. Actually, I guess I got to let her go in light of this mustard gas thing. But my point is you got a nice, friendly style, and in this business, well, that's worth more than facts.
So, I'm not fired?
From your "Household Hints" column, yes. But you got a way of grabbing people's attention. I need that. (shows Peggy a picture of a goat eating a skirt) I've been wanting to run this photo since the county fair, but no one's come up with a good caption yet.
"Woman Skirts Disaster." Come on, give me a hard one. (Biffel shows her more photos) Uh, let's see... "Hat's Incredible." "Jeepers Sweepers." "Pink Ink Stinks Rink." Hmm... wait, give me a minute. Give me a minute. Oh, "Hold the Mayor."
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