Luke and Kevin in “Bringeth It On”

There's this moose. And the moose is telling this other moose that the other moose is really an elk and as such should be running with another herd.

Uh huh?

OK? But the moose is basing his whole assessment on what appears to be questionable evidence.

Like his horns are kinda small?

Actually, it's more of a behavioral observation. Like, say the moose in question was seen sniffing a flower, which according to the first moose is elk-like. But the second moose isn't so sure. I mean, he doesn't feel like an elk, he doesn't have elk thoughts. Does it make him an elk just because he likes this one flower?

Did you want to try a science metaphor?

...Does it mean I'm gay if I like a lesbian?

Who have you been talking to?

I'd rather leave the moose out of it.

Well, first of all, No. Liking a girl is liking a girl. And who says she's a lesbian?

That would be the moose again.

Right, you know, usually this kinda thing you just know.

I know, but apparently there are all these indicators about me.

Here's your only indicator. You ready? When you're alone, just kinda passing the time, what do you think about?

How to get past level five on Diablo. That kinda thing?

No, I mean, OK, when you're in the shower?

OH! Right, well, sometimes I think about Condaleeza Rice. I mean, her influence is second only to Kissinger.

:[Stares]

Um, and then there's Sigourney Weaver in Alien, Christina Ricci, Batgirl.

Ok, stop. See, that's all you need to know.

So, I'm definitely a moose?

Don't ever make me walk you through this again, OK?