Officer Wilson Sweet[after being hauled in by two Butler County sheriff's deputies for public intoxication] No, I don't wanna go in here now! Come on!
BBooking Officer
What do we have here?
D1Deputy #1
Drunk and disorderly, resisting arrest, vandalizing a county vehicle, simple assault.
BBooking Officer
OK, name?
Officer Wilson Sweet
Uh, Bruce Springsteen.
BBooking Officer
He got any ID?
BBooking Officer
John Doe Number Two. Take him into 37.
[Sweet punches a deputy and lunges at the booking officer before the deputies wrestle him to the floor.]
SESheriff Ed Thompson
What the hell is going on here? [Upon seeing Sweet] Another troublemaker, huh?
BBooking Officer
Everything is under control, Sheriff. Just taking him into a cell.
SESheriff Ed Thompson
Wait a minute! Bring him in here. This boy needs to learn some manners.
D2Deputy #2
You've got it coming now, boy.
[the deputies drag Sweet into Sheriff Thompson's office where Thompson beats Sweet senseless before throwing him into a cell.]
Officer Wilson Sweet
Man, I cannot believe somebody actually sat down and wrote all this stuff out. Now listen to this. "Certain procedure shall not implemented on any macadam pavement where the firm...
[Interrupting Sweet] Macadam? What's pavement got to do with nuts?
Officer Wilson Sweet
Nuts? What nuts? I didn't say anything about nuts?
Well macadam, you know them little bity white round nuts that come in a blue cans that has a picture of a pineapples on them?
SVSgt. V. L. 'Bubba' Skinner
Parker, that's called a macadamia nut.
Where is Macadamia anyway?
SVSgt. V. L. 'Bubba' Skinner
Well, I don't think it exists anymore Parker, but at one time I think it was over in Europe someplace.
Officer Wilson Sweet
I think you are talking about Macedonia, and you're right, there's no Macedonia anymore.
SVSgt. V. L. 'Bubba' Skinner
Yeah.
Maybe that's why they ship them from Hawaii these days.
Officer Wilson Sweet
Ship WHAT from Hawaii these days?
Them tiny nuts. It's what we're talking about ain't it?
Officer Wilson Sweet
I'm talking about macadam pavement, that's what I'm talking about.
You don't have to get so uppy Sweet. I mean, maybe that's the kind of roads they have in Hawaii to truck them out on.
[answers ringing phone] Sparta Police Department, Parker Williams.
SVSgt. V. L. 'Bubba' Skinner
You know Sweet, it's real sad. He was turning into a real good officer, and then sometimes I... [Shakes his head]
Officer Wilson Sweet
Bubba, you must have been one hell of a linebacker.
SVSgt. V. L. 'Bubba' Skinner
Sweet, if you're gonna say what I think you're gonna say, don't.
Officer Wilson Sweet
Because if you hit quarterbacks as hard as you hit that truck... [laughs]
SVSgt. V. L. 'Bubba' Skinner
Sweet, won't you go someplace and do something useful with yourself, huh?
In the Heat of the Night · 34 quotes