Officer Parker Williams quotes from In the Heat of the Night

Officer Parker Williams

Excuse me, uhhh, the Chief told me to tell you that he can hear you in his office and he just don't want to!

Officer Parker Williams

Uh Chief, that Phillip Casey is on the phone and he's whopping mad.

[picks up the phone] Mr. Casey, Chief Gillespie here. Wait a minute, Detective Tibbs did what? [pause] I see. [pause] Just hold it now. I'll take it up with Detective Tibbs when he comes in. [pause] Mister Casey, don't get yourself all excited, it isn't good for you. [pause] If you want to make any charges, go on over to the District Attorney and make them. You do whatever you feel is right for you to do. We are going to keep on doing what we feel is right for us to do here. Bye. [hangs up] Something wrong with that fella.

Officer Parker Williams

That's telling him Chief.

Officer Wilson Sweet

Man, I cannot believe somebody actually sat down and wrote all this stuff out. Now listen to this. "Certain procedure shall not implemented on any macadam pavement where the firm...

Officer Parker Williams

[Interrupting Sweet] Macadam? What's pavement got to do with nuts?

Officer Wilson Sweet

Nuts? What nuts? I didn't say anything about nuts?

Officer Parker Williams

Well macadam, you know them little bity white round nuts that come in a blue cans that has a picture of a pineapples on them?

Parker, that's called a macadamia nut.

Officer Parker Williams

Where is Macadamia anyway?

Well, I don't think it exists anymore Parker, but at one time I think it was over in Europe someplace.

Officer Wilson Sweet

I think you are talking about Macedonia, and you're right, there's no Macedonia anymore.

Officer Parker Williams

Yeah.

Yeah.

Officer Parker Williams

Maybe that's why they ship them from Hawaii these days.

Officer Wilson Sweet

Ship WHAT from Hawaii these days?

Officer Parker Williams

Them tiny nuts. It's what we're talking about ain't it?

Officer Wilson Sweet

I'm talking about macadam pavement, that's what I'm talking about.

Officer Parker Williams

You don't have to get so uppy Sweet. I mean, maybe that's the kind of roads they have in Hawaii to truck them out on.

Officer Parker Williams

[answers ringing phone] Sparta Police Department, Parker Williams.

You know Sweet, it's real sad. He was turning into a real good officer, and then sometimes I... [Shakes his head]

Officer Parker Williams

[Over police radio] Bubba, what's your position?

Officer Parker Williams

Say again. Please respond with your position Bubba.

Parker, will you knock off that Miami Vice stuff. You know where I'm at and you know I'm having lunch.