Let's move in together. You, me, and Oscar.
Okay. I'll give notice tomorrow.
I'm serious.
So am I.
It's not too soon?
Marshall, he's a dog. He'll adjust.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
"Luke" now. Interesting.
What's interesting? It's his name.
You two went to lunch?
I had to eat. He was there. Whatever.
You make it sound so romantic.
Romantic? Marshall. Look at me. Babar's sexier than I am.
Pregnant women are only less attractive to men who have never... consummated with one.
Oh. What?
No. I mean, it wasn't my baby.
Blech, Marshall. Gross. Look, if you're into that stuff, find a website.
No, it's complicated. I was in college.
Okay, you need to stop talking now. What is all this? What, you got a mope angling for new digs? Uh, it's, uh...
It's not for a witness. It's for me. For me and Abigail, actually.
You and Abigail. Interesting. So who's renting the u-haul?
Still sorting that out. We've both gotten pretty set in our ways.
Yeah, well... How set in her ways could a 12-year-old get, right?
Point is, my place doesn't feel right to her, her place doesn't feel right to me.
Hmm. That's odd. I mean, Abigail's so neat and girly, and you're so neat and girly. Well, you know what I think.
It's not a sign that we shouldn't move in together. It's a--a glitch.
A glitch.
A bump.
A bump. Huh. Here you go. How about this place? The prairie-style one. It's perfect.
[voiceover] Ask any aquaphobic six-year-old. There are benefits to staying out of the pool. You get to mock the nose plugs and the kickboards, eat ice cream without watching the clock for 30 minutes after. And the dry itch aftermath, the bleachy stench of chlorine is someone else's cross to bear. But sitting poolside as others splash around can tempt even the most timid. If you're feeling brave, you close your eyes, count to five, take a breath, and jump. And you hope that someone stronger, more currently reliable-- your own sumo-sized CPA-- will be there to pull through the kicks and the gulps, the bubbles and the gasps.
[voiceover] I heard this lame-ass, late-night radio shrink once who claimed he could tell everything about you from the car you drive. Your education, or lack thereof, your income, race. He even had a best-guess at the busyness of your sex life, or lack thereof. Everything you are, reduced to make, model, and the choice of air freshener hanging from your rearview. Guy gets an advanced degree in "you are what you own" t-shirt wisdom. His parents must be proud.
Um... listen. We don't have to get into this if you don't want, but all this with the Templeton's, the adoption, that's all... set in stone?
Are you serious? Oh, my God, get in line. Tell Brandi and Jinx I say hi.
Hey, I just thought, I don't know, this Grace situation might've churned up some second thoughts for you.
Well, obviously, it's churned up some second thoughts for you. You clearly think I'm making a bad decision.
No, just a hard one. Look, whatever you're going to do, I have total faith that it'll be the right thing for you, for everyone. But it's hard for me to stand here and go on about being here for Grace no matter what without making it clear that the same thing goes for you, times ten. No matter what.
Marshall, I just...
So...
So what?
So, still holding firm on the Templetons?
Oh, yeah, right, Marshall. 'Cause cradling a newborn for 30 seconds turned my whole world upside-down.
Then why keep the picture?
This? This is evidence.
Ah, for the report, right. Good thinking.
Marshall, seriously. Look at his face. It's like a Pug got tossed in the dryer.
[voiceover] They say you can't buy happiness. What you can buy are the trappings of happiness: sports cars, mansions, friends in high places or in low ones, depending on the view. But all we truly own, ultimately and everlastingly, are the various people in our messy lives. This often has little to do with happiness.
What's up? You get some bad news?
No, I just...Cancelled my meeting with the Templetons. It's the adoptive family.
What does that mean, "cancelled"?
I don't know. I just...Well, all I know is I don't need to know tonight.
[voiceover] I've always been mystified by the mindset of makeup: age-defying, firming, regenerating, micro-sculpting, putting car payments worth of your paycheck into a three ounce bottle. I'm amazed. Honestly, it's like I'm on safari. I mean, I get it. On some level you want to change, hide, feel what it's like to be just not you, if only for a night, but at the end of the day, as your haggard reflection will tell you every time, the makeup comes off and all that you're left with is exactly who you are.
We're moving the witness. This thing is done.
USU.S. District Attorney
McQueen, I can call Washington, get them to okay an alternate juror. You can't shut this down!
Yeah? I'm a U.S. Marshall, counselor. I got jurisdiction in fifty states, plus territories, and right now I got a witness to protect. You want to call D.C., be my guest!
You scared me.
I scared you? For me it was the sniper fire. Ow.
Don't a baby. Let me get the glass out.
Sorry you got dragged into this sub-optimal situation.
Well, I'm not sure I mentioned it, but in my off-time I do a little detective work. Dead bodies, flying bullets, kind a part of the job description.
If anything happened, I want you to know I...
What? You'd throw yourself on top of Mary?
No. I mean, yes. She's my partner, Abigail, and she's pregnant. My instincts kicked in.
I get it. I do.
Do you?
I do.
God, I'm tired.
You're in your third trimester. The baby's exerting pressure on your lumbar spine, obstructing the venous return from your legs.
Is it wrong to want to pop this kid out early on the off chance it'll stop your graphic recollections of freshman bio?
It's perfectly natural.
I should have been here for her. [referring to her sister Brandi]
It was impossible today, and you are every other day.
Marshall, it was her wedding day and I was AWOL. AWOL maid of honor. So, earlier, you know, thanks for, you know.
The courthouse?
Yeah. By the way, you falling on top of me instead of her, how'd that go over with Nancy Drew?
I told her it was just instinct.
You douche. You said that?
She understands. She gets it. You're my partner.
Yeah. Running through that hallway today, the bullets flying, the running, I don't know. I just, you really feel the weight of this, you know? I just... I don't know.
Marshall. Hey.
Uh, listen, I can...
No, no. It's fine. I'm fine. Really.
You need a lift?
I'm good.
Come on. I'm not going to leave you, literally, at the altar. Well, technically it's a chuppah. A chuppah. Chuppah.
Don't. Don't make me laugh. My uterus. No guttural C-H.
[voiceover] There's a phenomenon some people experience, those who've lost an arm or a leg, called "phantom limb". They feel pain, heat, cold, even movement, despite the fact that, strictly and scientifically speaking, there is no "there" there. It's as if the body can't accept that something so essential so natural a part has moved on... The memory of what had always been there so strong that even in its clear and sudden absence, the connection cannot be denied.
DDelia
[to Marshall] Listen, after you meet with your witness I was thinking we could duck and hide on the answer.
Aw, have you two deskmates developed your own little secret code language? So sweet. Excuse me while I puke on this puke.
We're taking about Stan.
What about him? Whoa, whoa. Back up. Is there Stan gossip? I'm on the sidelines six months and you withhold? You know I live for Stan gossip! All right, hit me.
Stan McQueen has taken a lover.
No! Oh my God, this is huge! And ew! Is she cute? Is she fat? Tell me she's fat. Hold on! Is it someone we know? Brief me! Down to the last, dirty detail.
SFDr. Shelley Finkel
The pregnancy was unplanned?
Uh, yes. Not that it's any of your business. I'm sorry, what does my family planning have to do with the shooting?
SShelley
I don't know, but 39-year-olds don't tend to have accidents with birth control.
Yeah, they do; all the time.
SShelley
You want my theory? Your sister was getting her act together.
Was being the operative word.
SShelley
Your mother was sober.
Still is.
SShelley
You need someone new to protect, so you got yourself knocked up. So, my theory: what do you think?
I think that the hour is up.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's In Plain Sight pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.