[Robin and Ted interrogate a truth-serum-drunk Barney over his real job and when Barney explains everything...]
Well, as you know, back in my hippie days, a business man came into my coffee shop, told me money was all that mattered, and stole my girlfriend. That's when I decided to become awesome. But I had no idea how to break into the corporate world. So, hoping he wouldn't recognize me, I went to the one person from whom I knew I could learn everything.
Do we know each other, bro?
We're all connected in Gaia's great tapestry of... (clears throat) No. We don't. Bro.
Wow, you went to M.I.T. Pretty impressive.
I did get a perfect score on the A.C.T.'s. Advanced Card Tricks.
Well, look, buddy. You got a sweet résumé. But we don't have any openings you're qualified for.
They set me up! It was a trap! It's a trap!
We have one opening you'd be perfect for.
Great. What do I do?
Please. "Provide Legal Exculpation And Sign Everything." Just show up every day, scribble your name on a bunch of documents, and we'll pay you 16 craploads a year. Deets are in the contract. I'll give you time to think about it.
I'll take it.
Hold on. Did you even read this before signing it?
No.
[laughs] You're hired. We'll work on that.
Wait, that's your job? You sign sketchy legally-binding documents that could implicate you for god-knows-what?
Best job ever, right?
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