[Barney is angry that Ted slept with his half-sister]
That's my sister, Ted!!
I didn't know! None of us even knew you had a sister until two years ago, including you. It's all a crazy coincidence.
There are four million women in the city of New York and you had to sleep with my sister. Why would the universe do that to me?
I don't know. It's not like you've treated women in such a way that wouldn't invite karmic retribution.
You banged my sister, my sweet, little, innocent -
Pierced.
Really, where? [gets on] Don't answer that!! Now I know why I felt everything that you did to her last night. It wasn't a Bro-nection - it was a Sis-nection. Oh my God, Ted did you... [whispers in Ted's ear]
Big-time.
Nice, high-five [high-fives Ted, but...] No, NO!!!! Retraction Five! [high-fives Ted again and reverses words]
Hey, hey you're the one who begged for a proxy bang - and while we're on the subject of family, I'm pretty sure you banged my mom! Mom beats sister.
I never banged your mom! [winks]
You just did that winking thing again!
No I didn't. [winks again]
Fine, let me ask you something - Barney were you a little sore this morning, especially... [whispers in Barney's ear]
[aghast] Friendship OVER!! [marches out of bar]
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