So, little Missy Grumpaloo got kicked right out of the coffee shop by the nasty, angry Stinkaloo. And even though Missy Grumpaloo was right, and pretty, the mean Stinkaloo's words hurt her feelings. Then, Dr. Grumpaloo, who wasn't even really a doctor, said, "Don't you worry, Missy, I'll teach you how to be not be so loud, not so mad, and not so frightened, and not so sad," and that made little Missy feel better, and she didn't feel like she had to come back and burn down Stinkaloo's coffee shop any more.
Missy Grumpaloo was chosen by the village to fight the big-headed dragon who lived on Hot Rock Mountain. But the big-headed dragon could breathe fire, and Missy didn't know what to do. So she pulled out a sandwich she was saving for lunch, and offered it to the dragon. But the peanut butter made the dragon sick; and even though they were fighting, Missy visited him in the hospital every day. And when the dragon was all better, he burned Missy's house down, because dragons are jerks.
Little Missy Grumpaloo was out for a walk one day, when she saw Grandma Grumpaloo drop a big bag of apples. Missy gathered up all the apples and gave them back to Grandma Grumpaloo. But Grandma Grumpaloo didn't say 'thank you', and Missy thought that was pretty lousy. But then, when Missy got home, she saw that Grandma had used the apples to bake a fresh yummy pie. So Missy snuck into the kitchen, and stole Grandma's pie to teach her a lesson about being grateful.
One day, Missy Grumpaloo introduced her best friend, Dan, to her other friend, Todd. Dan and Todd became good friends, and started to leave Missy out of their games. So Missy made a new friend, Azria, who came from outer space. But she couldn't understand a word Azria said. Missy told Azria that Todd was planning to invade her home planet, and that's how Missy got her best friend Dan back.
Missy Grumpaloo was looking for her friend, the Something-Or-Other. She looked high and low, but all she could find were Whatcha-Ma-Callits and Whosa-Ma-Whatsits. When she finally found her friend, she realized it wasn't a Something-Or-Other at all, it was a mean Stinkaloo in disguise. And that's when Missy realized that not all Something-Or-Others are what they seem. Some of them are mean and unfriendly, and have stupid moms
Little Missy Grumpaloo wasn't used to having a job, and it made her very, very tired. That night, she went to bed and had a wonderful dream that she was at the beach. The next day at work, Missy took as many naps as she could, but she couldn't dream her way back to the beach; so, she pretended to be sick to get out of work, and went to the beach for real, where she laid on the sand, and fell asleep... and dreamed that she was back at work.
So Missy Grumpaloo jumped on the big, mean, stinky ape, and pulled its hair, and made it cry, and sent it back to the depths of the deep, dark jungle. And everyone was so happy, they gave Missy a big, shiny trophy. Which is way better than just being nominated for one.
And with that, little Missy Grumpaloo returned from her magical visit to the land of the stars. Missy shared stories about riding on a huge wave and sneaking into a cave full of musical giants and about her battle with a dirty, obnoxious monster. And to prove she won the battle, Missy brought back the monster's head, which horrified the other Grumpaloos, because it smelled like pee.
One day, Missy Grumpaloo woke up and discovered that she'd lost her beautiful voice. She learned that an evil lizard had stolen her voice, and was holding it for ransom in a magical box. So Missy started performing as a mime and made lots and lots of money. And when she had enough, she returned to the lizard and beat his brains in with her bag of coins and took back her voice.
So little Missy Grumpaloo went from town to town selling her wonder potion that she said could cure the 'flu and grow hair. But a Grumpaloo who drank her potion became horribly ill; his neck swelled, and his eyes bulged out. Everyone was scared. But Missy said, "Don't worry, folks! I have another potion here that can cure swollen necks and bulgy eyes! And it's only 20 bucks a bottle."
Missy Grumpaloo loved to pretend. One day, she pretended she was a giant mindless robot being controlled by an evil scientist. Missy didn't want to attack the city, but the scientist made her do it anyway; that's how she knew he was evil. Plus, good scientists don't usually have a rat carcass on their head.
No, Joyce, please don't make me work in an office! I'm a free bird, a lone wolf, a rogue elephant. I can't be stuck in a cage like a regular elephant. I need to spread my wings and ears.
(upon being told she has to apologize to Maxwell Smythe)
Millie
Thank him? I'd rather die! I'd rather be dipped in chocolate, cut up into little pieces, put in boxes, and fed to hungry housewives who sit around watching daytime soaps... ha, where the hell am I going with this?
Hiccups · 28 quotes
Millie
