Boy I'm feeling goofy, you know this Arnold guy he's been on my mind morning, noon and night for the past six years. I mean think about it, since I'm currently nine years old that is fully two thirds of my young life, is that crazy or what? Why do I torture myself by keeping it all a big secret why not just tell Arnold? La La La La La. Hey why am I telling you all this, you don't even know the guy. I'll just call that adorable little Football Head right know and tell him myself. [Phone rings, she gets answering machine.] Hello, Arnold, this is Helga, yes, Helga G. Pataki, the girl that worships you, yes, wastes days of passionate thoughts about you, ohh, my angel, sweet love, ohh, how I lo.... [screams]
[Halfway across town] Did you hear something just now?
No.
[Helga is hiding in the air vent directly above the hallway, unknown to the fourth-grade boys.]
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