Happy quotes from Happy!

Hailey Bailey!

Happy

That's all she knows. One picture. And from it, she... She made up a hero. But you're no hero, are you, Nick?

Nick Sax

What I've been trying to tell you.

Nick Sax

Yeah, it's a swell story, but need I remind you that my monster is very much alive and kicking. Now this Gimbel's piñata Santa - what the hell does he have to do with the price of ass in China?

Not him. The son. He had a kid, that one. Can you imagine? Wound up institutionalized. No one heard anything about him after that.

Happy

It's the kid, Nick!

Nick Sax

Bit of a leap, ain't it?

I ain't saying he's the one you're looking for. I ain't saying he ain't. Still... I wonder some nights... Where's that little boy, now?

Happy

See, Nick? The spirit of Christmas is everywhere! [the lights go out]

Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for any inconvenience. All Queens-bound trains have been delayed indefinitely.

Nick Sax

Oh, this city never disappoints.

Happy

Is a show about to start?

Nick Sax

Oh, yeah. You just watch. All it takes is a little inconvenience and then you start to see them.

Happy

See who?

Nick Sax

Truest selves. Go on, Tinkerbell. Take a look. Do a little lap around. See how much humanity you find when the A-Train ain't running on time.

Happy

Uh, what are you doing? Get off the tracks.

Nick Sax

Do you smell that? All the Christmas spirit in the air. You could practically choke on it. You scratch the surface, and there you have it. Our true selves. People hiding behind their bright, colorful wrappings of bullshit. Hoping it'll hide what they really are deep down inside underneath it all - empty boxes and broken toys. [the lights come back on]

Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for any inconvenience. The next Queens-bound train will be arriving in two minutes.

Happy

Uh, Nick. The train is coming.

Nick Sax

Yep.

Happy

Yeah, so why don't you get off the tracks?!

Nick Sax

Nope. I'm gonna teach you a lesson, my little blue bastard. Something you're never gonna forget. I'm gonna lie down here on these tracks and I'm gonna let that train run me right over and I guarantee you, not one SOB on that whole platform will lift a finger to help me.

Happy

Nick, no!

Happy

All right, Nick! Get up! You win!

Nick Sax

How's it looking up there?

Happy

Awful! You made your point!

Nick Sax

Not quite. Not until I give these walls a new paint job.

Happy

But Nick - what about Hailey?!

Nick Sax

Hailey. Hailey... Don't you try and put this on me! You were the one with her when she was kidnapped! What have you done?!

Happy

I found you.

Nick Sax

Yeah, well. How's that working out for you?

Happy

You're right, Nick. This is your kind of world. Not a world for soft things like me and like Hailey. You've opened my eyes to a lot of stuff I never wanted to see, but I won't watch you do this. If you want me to go fine, I'll disappear.

Nick Sax

Music to my ears. [waves] Bye-bye.

Happy

All right, then. Goodbye, partner. [disappears]