Does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? Did she die in vain? That brave Hungarian peasant girl who forced King John to sign the pledge at Runnymede and close the boozers at half past ten? Is all this to be forgotten?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
One can rush one's savouring of the classics of world literature - Rome was not built in a day and its decline and fall cannot be read in one.
LLibrarian
But you haven't got Gibbon's Decline and Fall there.
That's got nothing to do with it - I've got The Love Lives of the Caesars here and that tells me everything!
[Hancock is reading].
Do you mind? I'm trying to read, don't interrupt! I'm on the edge of me seat here.
Good, is it?
Good? This is red hot, this is, mate. I'd hate to think of a book like this getting in the wrong hands. As soon as I've finished this I shall recommend they ban it.
You've got Adam Faith earning ten times more than the prime minister. Now, is that right? Is that right? ... Then again, it depends whether you like Adam Faith and what your politics are.
Do we get a badge for doing this?
[to woman going to give blood] Just think, Cliff Richard might get some of yours! [to himself] That'll slow him down a bit...
DDoctor
Where are you going?
To have my tea and biscuits.
DDoctor
I thought you came here to give some of your blood!
You've just had it.
DDoctor
But this is just a smear!
It may be just a smear to you, mate, but it's life and death to some poor wretch!
How much do you want then?
DDoctor
Well, a pint, of course?
A pint? Have you gone raving mad? [...] I mean, I came here in all good faith, to help my country. I don't mind giving a reasonable amount, but a pint? Why, that's very nearly an armful!
DDoctor
You're AB negative.
...Is that bad?
DDoctor
No, no - you're rhesus positive.
Rhesus?! They're monkeys, aren't they? How dare you! What are you implying? I didn't come here to be insulted by a legalised vampire!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hancock's Half Hour pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.