(narrating) The day I turned sixteen, I got my driver's license, and suddenly, I was free. I could be out on the open road with nothing but my own dreams to guide me. I could let the wind of adventure blow back my hair as the beckoning horizon pulled me ever onwards.
This question is for Gretel. My best friend looks just like you. And her name is Gretel, just like you. And she has a hamster named Hamster, just like you! I just want to know... Can you sign this T-shirt for her?
HEY! (takes the remote) That's enough insulting hat talk in this house, the both of you!! Maybe you two need a break from each other, or something. I'm taking the remote. (starts walking upstairs) Just settle this!
You know, I wasn't planning on being super evil today―it's more of a deejay day―but your girl tried to make me look bad in front of my crew. I can't look like a chump. (pulls out a pool of acid) You get it. Once this party wraps up, we're gonna dunk you in a vat of acid, and then... AFTERPARTY! (laughs) Die mad, you furry little freak.
(laughs as she pinches Kevin's cheek) Ay, Kevin, I love senses of humors! Now there's only one rule in my house, and that you must follow ALL my rules. Now, hand over the phones!
