Hap Lasser quotes from Grimm

Hap Lasser

My brother's baseball cards! Now, if my brother knew about this, he would crap a car.

Monroe

My aim is to keep the toilet clean.

Hap Lasser

Cool

Monroe

Your aim will help.

Nick

Let's try to figure out who might want to harm you.

Hap Lasser

Detective. Listen, bro. I'm a pretty happy guy. That's the reason the name "Hap" works so well for me. I love everybody, and everybody loves me. Even the guys I owe money to.

Nick

Follow me.

Hap Lasser

[Listing everyone he owes money] Uh, Jimmy Damon. I'm into him for about three grand. It's a bar thing.

Nick

A bar tab?

Hap Lasser

No, Jimmy Damon was for a bar that I opened. He was one of my backers. It was a really, really great idea. You actually had your own bar right there at your own table. We lost our shirts. Uh, then there's Sammy Runyon. I owe him, like, a couple grand. Strip mall creperie. You know, those really thin French pancakes? Now, pancakes are the new cupcakes. Or, at least, they should have been. In fact, maybe I could interest you guys in a really unique investment opportunity...

[about Nick] He's a Grimm!

Hap Lasser

What? No. He's a cop. Monroe, tell her she's wrong.

Monroe

...She's not.

Hap Lasser

He's a cop and a Grimm? Is that legal?

Nick

Mr. Lasser, you said you walked outside just before it exploded?

Hap Lasser

Well, yeah, Detective. If I would have been in there, I wouldn't be out here.

Hap Lasser

[about Monroe and Nick] Whoa! You guys know each other?

Monroe

We've met.

Hap Lasser

Oh, yeah? Where did you meet? Like, at a party or something? [lowers voice] Oh, wait. You didn't get arrested for doing some of the stuff you used to do, did you?

Monroe

All right. Let's go. Come on. Time to go.