Grey's Anatomy · Season 5
How'd it go with the lawyers?
They told me my death rate. [looks at a small pile] These are the people I saved. [looks at a big pile] These are the people I killed.
Okay. Well most of those people were terminal when they came to you. You were their last chance, and you take on impossible cases. Look at the clinical trial.
It's just so many people. More than Dahmer, Manson, and Bundy combined.
You're not looking at the big picture.
[points to the big stack of files] This is the big picture.
[about Derek] And he just walked out. Without saying a word, he just walked out!
Hunt won't even look at me, since he went all Apocalypse Now on me this morning.
He had to get all scalpel happy up in that patients brain, and now he can't face it!
He thinks I'm what? This wilting flower? Well guess what, I'm the strong one.
Oh my god! I'm the strong one.
You see, if I had that stomach cancer gene, I would get that gastrectomy no problem. I face things, I don't walk away.
Derek walks away. Maybe walking away is the answer?
See it's not emotional, it's science. You have a problem, don't ignore it.
Well, sometimes if you have to pee and you ignore it, it does go away.
[laughs] You guys are hilarious! I mean do you even know what she just said? Or what she just said? [Meredith and Cristina look at each other] I can totally see you guys in 50 years, at a nursing home, just talking at each other with your hearing aids off. [laughs] Hi-larious! Ah, I love lunch.
Maybe Cristina's right. Maybe trying to teach the interns is pointless.
Please, don't listen to Cristina. She thinks just because you'd rather teach then take out a gall bladder that you're the new me.
Haha, O'Malley the sequel.
O'Malley 2.0.
You read more journals and do more research, and log more hours in the skills lab than any other resident here. You never give up on trying to be a better doctor, and you don't step on other people to do it. I would be lucky to be the new you.
[voiceover] Every surgeon has a shadow. And the only way to get rid of a shadow is to turn off the lights, to stop running from the darkness and face what you fear, head on.
[voiceover] Surgeons aren't known for being warm and cuddly. They're arrogant, impatient, mean as often as not. You'd think they wouldn't have friends 'cuz who could stand them? But surgeons, are like a bad cold. Nasty, but persistent. Surgeons: nasty, aggressive, unstoppable, just the kind of people you want on your side when you're really screwed.
Look, I'm sorry about your patient. I know how hard it can be. I, I had a patient a couple of years ago, a young guy, 50 maybe. Simple knee replacement. He was post op, he was fine. I even told his wife she could go and get him lunch. I mean, it was a simple knee replacement, it was nothing. But, ah, he'd been getting short of breath so I'd put him on blood thinners for a post surgical PE. And, ah, It wasn't until he was vomiting up dark red blood, looking me in the eye, telling me that he was dying... that I figured it out. That I was wrong. That it wasn't a PE, he was bleeding internally. It wouldn't have been fatal, but the blood thinners. God, I will never forget the look on his wife's face. When she came back with that sandwich in her hand, asking me why her husband wasn't in his room anymore.
How do you live with it? Killing him. Taking him from his wife. How do you live with it?
We call it malpractice when we make a mistake.
Yeah, I know what we call it! I'm asking you, when you get up in the morning, how do you look at yourself in the mirror? I'm not... I'm... I'm asking.
[looks at the beer Derek is drinking] Can I have one of those?
Yeah.
Ah, Chief?
Dr. Bailey.
How's your mood?
Meager. Anxious. I'm excited about Sloan's face transplant. I'm a little concerned about Derek Shepherd, but all in all...
Do I look like therapist?
You asked.
I've lost Hunt and Torres. See, I sent them to get Shepherd and I never heard from them again. See, I was trying to solve the Shepherd situation for you, Sir, but, it appears I've somehow made it three times worse. So, I'm telling you and my next move I believe is that I'm gonna call the police. Because, I'm half convinced they're all dead, on a spit, with a one armed man turning them into shish kebabs. Sir. It's my mind. It just goes there.
[to Richard] Get out!
No.
Get out, Richard! Get out!
Look, I've destroyed lives before. Several in fact, and yours is not one of them. Now, I sent the woman you love out here to help you. I sent the woman who loves you, out here, to bring you back to your life. If you ruin it with her, that's on you. I don't accept it. You're scared, you're drunk. You don't know which way is up. You threw a punch at your best friend, you threw a ring at Meredith, and now you wanna throw me out. I'm not accepting it! Because, I'm older than you, and I've been where you are. You've been drunk for a few days, I was drunk for years. And I know you're gonna need at least one friend when you decide to come out of that hole you're digging. I hope you come out of it soon, and I'll be here when you do.
I don't think I can get her back.
Did you call her?
What am I going to say?
I had an affair for years and when Adele found out somehow she... She took me back... you can make your way back from anything.
[voiceover] Practicing medicine doesn't lend itself well to the making of friends. Maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because in staring down death everyday, we're forced to know that life, every minute, is borrowed time. And each person we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line. For this reason, I know some doctors who just don't bother making friends at all. But the rest of us, we make it our job to move that line. To push each loss as far away as we can.
[voiceover] Surgeons are all messed up. We're butchers, messed up knife happy butchers. We cut people up, we move on. Patients die on our watch, we move on to the next patient and the next. We cause trauma, we suffer trauma. We don't have time to worry about all the blood and death and crap really makes us feel.
I wished Izzie Stevens would die. I wished her dead every day, of every week, for I don't even know how long. I woke up every morning, wishing Izzie Stevens would die, and now... What kind of person wishes someone would die? What kind of... what kind of doctor wishes, knowing how things happen. What kind of doctor wishes...
Are you in here, right now, praying for Izzie to die?
No. I'm praying for her to live.
We'll see you soon Dr. Stevens.
I hope so.
Know so.
Dr. Bailey if something goes wrong...
It won't.
The scarf, I made it for you.
It's a beautiful night to save lives. Let's get started.
Webber Wait. Um. Wait. No. You can't take that one.
Meredith Why not?
I said don't take it.
I will take the elevator I want to take.
[Webber blocks elevator door. Door closes and Meredith presses the button for a new elevator. Other elevator door opens.]
Well go on.
Hey! Come on in. This is a CT of Katie Bryce. 16 year old female, subarachnoid aneurysm.
From a fall during rhythmic gymnastics, I remember.
It was the first surgery we ever scrubbed in together. Our first save. Right here is a cerebral cyst. Tough save, but we did it. I kissed you in the stairwell, after the surgery. And this right here is where Dr. Bailey kicked you out of the surgery because she caught us in your driveway in my car. [both laugh] And right here, this was a seven hour craniotomy and you held the clamp the entire time, never flinched. That's when I knew you were going to be an incredible surgeon. And right here, this is when I supervised you drilling a burr hole for the very first time. I was watching you more than I was watching the drilling, because I knew I'd fallen in love with you. Beth Monroe, made our clinical trial a success by surviving. You talked me into putting her under. That's when I knew I needed you. And this is today. Post op head CT of Izzie Stevens. See that, right there? Tumor free. Because of you. You got me into the OR. If there's a crisis you don't freeze. You move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse. And you know we'll survive too. You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw. It's a strength. It makes you who you are. I'm not going to get down on one knee. I'm not going to ask a question. I love you Meredith Grey. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
[voiceover]: Doesn't matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.
[voiceover] Defeat isn't an option. Not for surgeons. We don't back away from the table til the last breath's long gone. Terminal's a challenge, life threatening's what gets us out of bed in the morning. We're not easily intimidated, we don't flinch, we don't back down and we certainly don't surrender, not at work anyway.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Grey's Anatomy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
