Blair: Who does this Dan Humphrey think he is? Serena is putting up a strong front, but I can see how hurt she is. We have to help her heal her heart.
Kati: Blair, it is pretty late notice.
Isabel: Most of the good ones are already taken.
Blair: No more excuses! Serena must have the hottest date ever. If he's got plans, he'll change it. If he's got a girlfriend, he'll dump her. If he's out of town, he'll charter a G5 and fly home. Make it happen.

Blair: You know, I always knew you were a whore... I never took you for a liar, too.
Serena: Blair... how can I fix this?
Blair: You don't, Serena. You just stay away. From me, my boyfriend, and my friends. You're done here.

Blair: You know, I called you about an hour ago, BTW. You're late.
Serena: Um, you're lucky I'm even here at all. It's Christmas Eve and I still haven't found a gift for Dan. Now, all the stores are closing and I'm totally screwed. Do you have any idea what you can buy for under fifty dollars these days?
Blair: I don't know. A single entrée in a mid-price restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set? Maybe a pair of Wilfrid stockings?
Serena: Oh, stockings! Yes! Great idea for Dan! Blair, please, this is serious.
Blair: I don't know, why don't you buy him a gold money clip for forty-nine, ninety-nine. He won't know the difference.

Blair: You're all I have left.
Chuck: Actually, you don't even have me.
Blair: Enough.
Chuck: I'll try to be more succinct. You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate and untouched. But now you're like...one of the Arabians my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore and I can't see why anyone else would.

Chuck: [on his cell] Serena didn't come home last night.

Chuck: [Suggestively] If you want to thank me...
Serena: It's a sandwich, Chuck.

Chuck: [to Serena] Why don't I turn that one-piece into a no-piece?

Chuck: [Via text message] So how did you fake your virginity for N?

Chuck: Are you following us or something?
Dan: No. I, uh, I go to your school. [He gestures to their outfits]Identical uniforms. Kind of a tip-off.
Nate: [Sarcastically] That's funny.
[They exit the bus]
Dan: [Sarcastically, to himself] So, you guys wanna sit together at lunch?

Chuck: How glad are you that our two families are merging together, sis?
Serena: So glad that if you ever call me that again it will be the last thing you ever say, Chuck!

Chuck: I love this town. I'm going to have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors.
Serena: And if you get a drink, they're also serving pigs.
Chuck: Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty.
Serena: You just love when a girl talks to you.
Chuck: Actually, I prefer them when they're not talking.
Serena: [Sarcastically] Mm. I've missed your witty banter.
Chuck: Let's catch up! Take our clothes off, stare at each other.
Serena: How about I just get a bite to eat. I'm drinking on an empty stomach.
Chuck: I heard you didn't do that anymore.
Serena: Special occasion.
Chuck: Well, how about a grilled cheese with truffle oil? You love truffles.
Serena: Enough to know it's not on the menu.
Chuck: I'm connected.
Serena: Only 'cause I'm hungry.

Chuck: Serena looked effing hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be... violated.
Nate: You are deeply disturbed.
Chuck: And yet, you know I'm right. You're telling me if you had the chance --
Nate: I have a girlfriend.
Chuck: You guys have been dating since kindergarden and you haven't sealed the deal.
Nate: Who says "seal the deal"?

Chuck: So smoke up, and seal the deal with Blair because you're also entitled to tap that ass.

Chuck: Something as beautiful deserves to be seen on someone worthy of its beauty.

Chuck: This isn't over.
Dan: Hey, anytime, man. That one black eye looks a little lonely.