Chuck: You really know how to hurt people. I admire you for it
Blair: This is all your fault. I wouldn't never needed a James if you hadn't stood me in the airport in the first place. You made me use him.
Chuck: I didn't make you do anything. You're just you. Don't you see we're the same? Stop trying to fight it
Blair: I will fight until my last dying breath because any resemblance of you is something i would hate about myself

Chuck: You're lying.
Blair: I am not.
Chuck: Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth.
Blair: I wasn't aware that robots got jealous. Did they update your software while I was away?

Dan: [Talking about Nate] The guy had one original thought last year. It died of loneliness.

Dan: Did you sleep with someone else?
Serena: Yes.
Dan: I'm done. [Dan walks away disgusted and angry and Serena starts crying]

Dan: Hey! What are you doing here?
Serena: I need to know why you love me.
Dan: Because I do.
Serena: I really want to trust you when you say those words, Dan, so maybe if I knew why, I'd stop being so scared of hearing them and afraid to say them.
Dan: Okay. Well, if you want to talk about why...
Serena: It has to do with my mom and her many marriages.
Dan: There. that's why. Because I actually like it when you interrupt me, which is often, by the way. I love you because you make no apologies about being exactly who you are... Beautiful, smart, sexy as hell.
Serena: Now you're embarrassing me.
Dan: That's another reason. You're totally unaware of the effects you have on me. You're also completely unaware that you laugh like a 4 year old. [Serena laughs] Just like that. And I love you because you can be with someone like me and still be best friends with someone like Blair.
Serena:: Yeah, well, I tried to be.
Dan: I know you do, and that's not easy, but you never give up on her. That is how amazing you are.
Serena: Well, you're amazing, too, for being able to say all of those things, you just are. [They kiss] And I love you... But I have to go.
Dan: What? what--what is it this time?
Serena: One of the many reasons you love me. [Blows Dan a kiss]

Dan: I was in the neighbourhood. Uh, give or take 70 blocks.

Dan: I was just thinking about... this morning... on the bus ...
Serena: Yeah, we didn't exactly stick to the plan, did we?

Dan: I've tried not to think about her all summer. I was afraid that if I did, that ... I'd see that I made a huge mistake.
Rufus: Well, you've been running all summer. Maybe it's time you turned around and faced it.

Dan: Let me just say. For the record. I like you. Only you.
Serena: Well, that's good because I feel the same about you.
Dan: Glad that's cleared up.

Dan: The arts and crafts were impressive, but how did you manage the real snow?
Serena: [Laughs] I'm well connected.
Dan: This is, without question, the best Christmas ever.
Serena: Ever. In the history of Christmas.

Dartmouth interviewer: Why should Dartmouth pick you as an usher?
Chuck: Why should I be chosen as an usher? [Thinks] I'm Chuck Bass.

Dartmouth interviewer: Why should Dartmouth pick you as an usher?
Dan: I believe I am the ideal Dartmouth candidate. I've been dreaming of Dartmouth for years. And I haven't asked Dartmouth...but I think she's been dreaming of me too.
[Dartmouth interviewer looks confused]
Dan: That was supposed to be a joke.

Dorota: '[on the phone with Lily]' I think you should have worry about your daughter. Worry like before she went away.

Elise: Jenny, why'd you want to meet here?
Jenny: Well, I was thinking, what is the one thing that no one in our group has - even Blair?
Elise: Compassion?
Jenny: [laughs] No, a boyfriend. If I'm gonna make it to Queen, I need a King.
Elise: Queen Elizabeth never had a boyfriend.
Jenny: But she only had the Spanish to conquer and I have Blair Waldorf.
Elise: What's top qualification?
Jenny: He has to be cute.
Elise: But not full of himself. [laughs]
Jenny: He has to be from the right kind of family. Eugh, but not disgusting.
[Jenny and Elise both laugh]

Eric: [to Chuck] Yeah... 'How Well Do You Know Blair Waldorf' is a little boring to those of us who actually know Blair Waldorf.