This is a travesty of international proportions. You are jeopardizing my Cheerios' role as goodwill ambassadors and I have a call in to the president.
I have a Spanish quiz in which one of your cheerleaders misspelled her name and answered every question with a drawing of a sombrero.
You can't stand it. You can't stand it to see a woman in power. Your psychosexual derangement would be fascinating Will if it weren't so terrifying!!!
Sue, Will did a little research. According to our test records, most of your cheerleaders are functionally illiterate!
Oh, so what?
And why, only last Friday, at the football game they tried to spell out "Go team," and they spelled out "To game."
Since 1992, 95% of your Cheerios should have flunked Spanish and I, for one, am not gonna be a part of it anymore.
Oh Will we all know about your devotion to that dying language!
Dying language!?!
Let me break this down for you, okay? I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go on to college? I don't know. I don't care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners. But if they wanna be bankers and lawyers and captains of industry, the most important lesson they could possibly learn is how to do a round off.
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