Will: Thank you for coming to the first annual New Directions' Regionals nominations party.
Artie: What's the point, Mr. Schue? Coach Sylvester's one of the judges. She's going to crush us.
Will: Artie, you don't know that.
Santana: Yes, we do, she told us at Cheerios practice.
Brittany: Yeah, she said, "I'm going to crush Glee Club".
Puck: A whole freaking year. All that hard work for nothing.
Tina: [Crying] I'm sorry. I just really love you guys. You know how many Facebook friends I had before I joined Glee Club? Two. My parents. Rachel was right. Being a part of something special-it made me special. I just can't believe it's going to be over in a week.
Finn: Wait, who says it's going to be over?
Mercedes: Please. You think Puck and Santana are going to even acknowledge my existence once we're not in Glee Club together anymore?
Puck: She has a point.
Rachel: Mr. Schuester? Do you think instead of nominating songs, we can just...all go around the room and talk about things we loved about Glee Club this year? [has tears going down her face]
In Emma's office:

Will: The best teachers don't give you the answers. They just point the way and let you make your own choices ... your own mistakes. That way, you get all the glory, and you deserve it.

Will: Think of your favorite song of all time.
Brittany: My Headband.

Will: Today, I want to talk to you about regrets. Who has some?
Rachel: Giving my heart to Jesse, just to have it crushed like the stage floor at a performance of Stomp.
Quinn: Thinking 'trust me' was a sensible birth control option.

Will: When I was in high school, I had a whole year where I dressed as exactly like Kurt Cobain. I mean, come on. There has to be someone who you used to dress like.
Pincipal Figgins: Yes. For several years in my early twenties, I dressed up as Elvis. But he was a Christian, Will! And he did not possess the ability to transform into a bat!
Tina: (whispering to Will) I think he thinks vampires are real.
Will: I think you're right

Will: Who can tell us what an anthem is?
Brittany: The bottom of an ant's pant.

Will: Who cares what happens when we get there, when the getting-there has been so much fun?

Will: Who's that? Someone special?
Kurt: Just a friend. But on the upside, I'm in love with him and he's actually gay. I call that progress.
Will: How you doing?
Kurt: Classes are harder, but the kids are kinder. But I miss you guys a lot though. So, what brings you here? Are you looking for teaching at a place where pencils aren't primarily used as weapons?

Will: You can't do that.
Santana: It's okay. Most of this isn't mine anyway.

Will: You know what you are Sue? You're a grinch.

Will: You need me to stay with you or anything?
Rachel': No, I've been drinking herbal tea and taking anti-anxiety pills and reading the unabridged biography of Britney Spears. I look forward to the day when paparazzi provokes me and I attack them.

Will: You're messing with adult things here, Santana. This is my job. This is my life.
Santana: And this is my education, and it's not a joke to me, although it seems to be one to you.
Will: What are you talking about? They all loved my performance.
Santana: Because they don't know any better. It's your fault. You're their teacher. You went from "La Cucaracha" to a bullfighting mariachi. Why don't you just dress up as the Taco Bell chihuahua and bark the theme to Dora the Explorer? You don't even know enough to be embarassed about these stereotypes that you're perpetuating.
Will: That's not fair!
Santana: Isn't it? What did you want to be when you grew up? Why did you become a spanish teacher, Mr. Shue?
Will: Because... it was the only teaching position open at the time.
Santana: I want to remind you of something an amazing teacher once taught me: without passion, you can't succeed.
Will: Who taught you that?
Santana:You did. And you do. When you teach Glee.

(Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes are watching Twilight)
Mercedes: How is the girl with no ass supposed to choose between the juiced-up wolf and the depressed vampire? She is into both of them.
Rachel: Oh come on Mercedes, she just knows.
Mercedes: What if they both make her feel amazing in differents ways?
Rachel: No, you don't get to choose when it comes to true love. True love chooses you. And you better be certain when it comes to marriage, because marriage is a promise and it lasts forever.
Kurt: Ladies, I appreciate you spending time with me while Blaine recovers, but why are you being so weird and serious? Our periods don't come until the end of the month.

(Tina gets up and leaves)
Finn: Whoa, whoa Tina where are you going?
Tina: You guys don't need me-- carry on.
Rachel: Tina, you don't understand. I need this.
Tina: Because you blew an audition? That's not a reason for you to get a solo at nationals. Maybe the rest of us would like one, too.
Rory: I wouldn't mind having another one before I get deported.
Sugar: I want one even though I can't sing.
Mike: Tina, Rachel's a senior.
Tina: So are you, but you can bet the only thing you'll be doing is a dance break with Brittany. Other people matter.
Will: Tina, you might not always get the solos, but you are a key player. I put you in charge of costumes.
Tina: Wow! like that's some prize. You want props to move around? Well I'm a human prop, and I'm sick of it!
Sue: Take a lap and cool down, Asian Number One.
Tina: My name is Tina. Tina Cohen-Chang!
Sue: Isn't she the one who used to stutter?

[After Brittany finishes singing My Cup.]
'Tina: Hold on, are you singing about...a cup?
Brittany: Yeah, totally.
Quinn: [grabs her jacket] We gotta get out of here.
Rachel: Wait, no, no, no. Mr. Schue gave us explicit instructions.
Quinn: To write a song and our problem is our only inspiration are mattresses and bathroom cups.
Puck: Quinn's right. We're in the artist capital of the world. Poets, musicians, actors, playwrights. Every dreamer that's lived has passed through this city. And if we want our dreams to come true, we need to be there out with them, not stuck in here.
Finn: Guys, I don't think this is a good idea. I mean, we've still got those songs to write and if we don't write them then we're gonna lose.
Lauren: No, they're right! Can't you hear the city calling to you?
Quinn: We don't need to write songs for Nationals. New York's going to write them for us.