Glee quotes
931 total quotesSantana: [groans and knocks on the bathroom door] Quinn, quit hogging the bathroom! I needs to re-pencil my eyebrows on. [turns to Brittany] I mean, doesn't she-
Quinn: [opens the door and walks out] It's all yours.
Santana: Everyone's already in the other room working.
Quinn: Oh yeah? Is Mr. Schue in there? Because I think I'm going to tell him that Rachel and Kurt keep sneaking off together.
Brittany: You can't do that. He'll have to suspend them.
Quinn: And there goes our chances at nationals. Darn!
Santana: You know what? We get it. You're pissed about Finn dumping your sweet ass. Get over it.
Quinn: I don't want to get over it! Okay?
Santana: The only person that you're sabotaging is yourself.
Quinn: I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME STUPID SHOW CHOIR COMPETITION!
Santana: Well you should because this is the one chance that we have to actually feel good about ourselves!
Quinn: [begins to cry] Aren't we suppose to be the popular girls? So why can't we have our dreams come true? Rachel has Finn, Tina has Mike, and even Lauren's hooked up. [sits on a bed and Santana and Brittany sit next to her] I just wanted for somebody to love me.
Santana: I think I know how to make you feel better.
Quinn: I'm flattered Santana, but I'm really not that into that.
Santana: No, no I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a haircut.
Brittany: Yes, totally.
Quinn: [opens the door and walks out] It's all yours.
Santana: Everyone's already in the other room working.
Quinn: Oh yeah? Is Mr. Schue in there? Because I think I'm going to tell him that Rachel and Kurt keep sneaking off together.
Brittany: You can't do that. He'll have to suspend them.
Quinn: And there goes our chances at nationals. Darn!
Santana: You know what? We get it. You're pissed about Finn dumping your sweet ass. Get over it.
Quinn: I don't want to get over it! Okay?
Santana: The only person that you're sabotaging is yourself.
Quinn: I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME STUPID SHOW CHOIR COMPETITION!
Santana: Well you should because this is the one chance that we have to actually feel good about ourselves!
Quinn: [begins to cry] Aren't we suppose to be the popular girls? So why can't we have our dreams come true? Rachel has Finn, Tina has Mike, and even Lauren's hooked up. [sits on a bed and Santana and Brittany sit next to her] I just wanted for somebody to love me.
Santana: I think I know how to make you feel better.
Quinn: I'm flattered Santana, but I'm really not that into that.
Santana: No, no I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a haircut.
Brittany: Yes, totally.
Santana: [talking on her cellphone] It sounds awful. Is anyone even going?
Brittany: [walks next to Santana and holds out her cellphone] Let me find out. [dials Artie] Did you hear?
Artie: [on his cellphone] Yes. Mercedes just told me.
Mercedes: [pushing Artie's wheelchair] Tell them I'll go if they go.
Artie: Tell them yourselves. I ain't no Pony Express.
Mercedes: [rolls her eyes and turns on her headset] You're going, right?
Santana: Only if there's liquor. Because a Rachel Berry house party is not something I can do sober.
Brittany: But it's Alcohol Awareness week.
Santana: Precisely and I'm aware of how much fun alcohol is. Let's ask Puckerman. [dials Puck]
Puck: [on his cellphone] Go for Puck.
Santana: Noah, it's Santittany and Artcedes. Can your friends score us some wine coolers?
Puck: No, but his I.D. can.
[Everyone meets up at the same time.]
Brittany: [walks next to Santana and holds out her cellphone] Let me find out. [dials Artie] Did you hear?
Artie: [on his cellphone] Yes. Mercedes just told me.
Mercedes: [pushing Artie's wheelchair] Tell them I'll go if they go.
Artie: Tell them yourselves. I ain't no Pony Express.
Mercedes: [rolls her eyes and turns on her headset] You're going, right?
Santana: Only if there's liquor. Because a Rachel Berry house party is not something I can do sober.
Brittany: But it's Alcohol Awareness week.
Santana: Precisely and I'm aware of how much fun alcohol is. Let's ask Puckerman. [dials Puck]
Puck: [on his cellphone] Go for Puck.
Santana: Noah, it's Santittany and Artcedes. Can your friends score us some wine coolers?
Puck: No, but his I.D. can.
[Everyone meets up at the same time.]
Santana: [To Mercedes] Uhm, I'm sorry? Have you been to Breadstix? They are legally forbidden to stop bringing you bread-sticks. One time I bought a wheelbarrow and when the manager tried to stop me from filling it up I called the corporate office and got her fired.
Santana: [to Rachel] I fully support your right to be unhappy with Finn for the rest of your lives.
Santana: [turns to Lauren] Whoa! Okay, I'm sorry. You just got eyes for my man.
Puck: Okay, first of all, I'm not your man.
Quinn: And Finn is right. All you ever do is insult us. Three weeks ago, you said you were disappointed that I didn't have a lizard baby.
Tina: Five minutes ago, you said Mr. Schue belonged into a twelve step program.
Will: Wait, what?
Santana: You're addicted to vests.
Rachel: The truth is, Santana, you can dish it out but you can't take it. Okay maybe you're right. Maybe I'm destined to play the title role in the Broadway musical of Willow, but the only job you're gonna have is working on a pole.
[Everyone gasps.]
Puck: Okay, first of all, I'm not your man.
Quinn: And Finn is right. All you ever do is insult us. Three weeks ago, you said you were disappointed that I didn't have a lizard baby.
Tina: Five minutes ago, you said Mr. Schue belonged into a twelve step program.
Will: Wait, what?
Santana: You're addicted to vests.
Rachel: The truth is, Santana, you can dish it out but you can't take it. Okay maybe you're right. Maybe I'm destined to play the title role in the Broadway musical of Willow, but the only job you're gonna have is working on a pole.
[Everyone gasps.]
Santana: [walks to Brittany] Hi.
Brittany: Hi.
Santana: Can we talk?
Brittany: But we never do that.
Santana: I know but, um, I wanted to thank you for performing that song with me in Glee club.
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: 'Cause it's made me do a lot of thinking. What I realize is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings, feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with...because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. And Brittany, I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't.
Brittany: I understand that.
Santana: Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?
Brittany: Not really.
Santana: I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school.
Brittany: Yeah, but honey...if anyone were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words.
Santana: [sniffles and begins to cry] Yeah, I know. But...I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept...that I love you. I love you. And I don't want to be with Sam, or Finn, or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please...
Brittany: Of course I love you. I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie.
Santana: Artie?
Brittany: I love him too. I don't want to hurt him. That's not right. I can't break up with him.
Santana: Yes, you can. He's just a stupid boy.
Brittany: But it wouldn't be right. Santana, you have to know if Artie and I were to ever break up, and I'm lucky enough that you're still single... [tries to touch Santana's arm]
Santana: [pulls her arm away] Don't.
Brittany: I am so yours. Proudly so.
Santana: Yeah, wow. Whoever thought that being fluid meant that you could be so stuck?
Brittany: Don't. I'm sorry -- [tries to hug Santana]
Santana: [pushes her away] Get off me. [leaves]
Brittany: Hi.
Santana: Can we talk?
Brittany: But we never do that.
Santana: I know but, um, I wanted to thank you for performing that song with me in Glee club.
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: 'Cause it's made me do a lot of thinking. What I realize is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings, feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with...because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. And Brittany, I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't.
Brittany: I understand that.
Santana: Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?
Brittany: Not really.
Santana: I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school.
Brittany: Yeah, but honey...if anyone were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words.
Santana: [sniffles and begins to cry] Yeah, I know. But...I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept...that I love you. I love you. And I don't want to be with Sam, or Finn, or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please...
Brittany: Of course I love you. I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie.
Santana: Artie?
Brittany: I love him too. I don't want to hurt him. That's not right. I can't break up with him.
Santana: Yes, you can. He's just a stupid boy.
Brittany: But it wouldn't be right. Santana, you have to know if Artie and I were to ever break up, and I'm lucky enough that you're still single... [tries to touch Santana's arm]
Santana: [pulls her arm away] Don't.
Brittany: I am so yours. Proudly so.
Santana: Yeah, wow. Whoever thought that being fluid meant that you could be so stuck?
Brittany: Don't. I'm sorry -- [tries to hug Santana]
Santana: [pushes her away] Get off me. [leaves]
Santana: And just so you know I already bought custom bibs for me and Mercedes here. You know why? Cause we be going
Santana & Mercedes: To Breadstix.
Santana & Mercedes: To Breadstix.
Santana: Besides creeping us out, why are you telling us this?
Will: If we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at regionals, none of us are gonna regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won't look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition, which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us.
Quinn: So you want us to T.P their choir room?
Will: Whatever the better, cooler version of that is, like, uh- maybe... maybe we should steal their school statue.
Kurt: Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons.
Will: If we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at regionals, none of us are gonna regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won't look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition, which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us.
Quinn: So you want us to T.P their choir room?
Will: Whatever the better, cooler version of that is, like, uh- maybe... maybe we should steal their school statue.
Kurt: Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons.
Santana: Britt, I want to talk about, you know, that thing we never talk about.
Brittany: That Sour Patch Kids are gummy bears that turn into drugs?
Santana: Are we dating or what?
Brittany: Wait, isn't this a date? Aren't you were paying. I ordered shrimp! Wasn't it last week we were taking a bath together-wasn't that a date? Are you crying?
Santana: It's just that I'm really happy.
Brittany: Well, I told you last year that if I was single and you were single, we would mingle. And if there's any controversy that interferes with my presidential campaign, then I'll use one of my leprechaun wishes. To win the election.
Santana: Y-you think that Great Gazoo kid is a leprechaun?
'Brittany: Yeah, he's from Ireland. He's made of magic. Don't you have any wishes that you really want to come true?
Santana: Yeah, I do. I'm thinking about joining Shelby's new show choir. If I did, would you join me? I'm sick of being backup to Rachel Berry. I want to shine and be seen as the star I am. But I won't join without you.
Brittany: I don't want to known as a quitter. Doesn't my presidential campaign need continuity? Can't I think about it for like a day?
Santana: Yeah, totally. I understand. Just think about it. But in the meantime, I do have one more wish.
Brittany: Mm hm.
Santana: I wish you'd hold my hand.
Brittany: [smiles and holds Santana's hand]
Santana: [smiles but then looks around] But, like, under a napkin. [puts a napkin over her and Brittany's hands]
Brittany: That Sour Patch Kids are gummy bears that turn into drugs?
Santana: Are we dating or what?
Brittany: Wait, isn't this a date? Aren't you were paying. I ordered shrimp! Wasn't it last week we were taking a bath together-wasn't that a date? Are you crying?
Santana: It's just that I'm really happy.
Brittany: Well, I told you last year that if I was single and you were single, we would mingle. And if there's any controversy that interferes with my presidential campaign, then I'll use one of my leprechaun wishes. To win the election.
Santana: Y-you think that Great Gazoo kid is a leprechaun?
'Brittany: Yeah, he's from Ireland. He's made of magic. Don't you have any wishes that you really want to come true?
Santana: Yeah, I do. I'm thinking about joining Shelby's new show choir. If I did, would you join me? I'm sick of being backup to Rachel Berry. I want to shine and be seen as the star I am. But I won't join without you.
Brittany: I don't want to known as a quitter. Doesn't my presidential campaign need continuity? Can't I think about it for like a day?
Santana: Yeah, totally. I understand. Just think about it. But in the meantime, I do have one more wish.
Brittany: Mm hm.
Santana: I wish you'd hold my hand.
Brittany: [smiles and holds Santana's hand]
Santana: [smiles but then looks around] But, like, under a napkin. [puts a napkin over her and Brittany's hands]
Santana: Brittany thinks you're a sprightly green mythological creature,but I know you're a potato-eating poser. But since Brittany likes having a pet Irish, I'm not going to explode you.
Santana: Can I just say you are the hottest dentist I've ever seen?
Carl: I get that all the time.
Santana: You can drill me any time.
Carl: I get that all the time.
Santana: You can drill me any time.
Santana: Despite the fact that your mouth-to-face ratio is way off, you still somehow manage to be cute. But make no mistake. Every time you open your humongous mouth to do an impression or moisten an enormous stamp for a lazy giant, you take one step closer to everyone seeing that you are actually a dork.
Santana: Fine. [gets up and leaves]
Will: Santana.
Brittany: [comforting Santana] Maybe try rocking back and forth. People do that in movies.
Santana: [crying] No 'cause I just try to be really, really honest with people but I think that they suck, you know?
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: No one gets it.
Will: Santana.
Brittany: [comforting Santana] Maybe try rocking back and forth. People do that in movies.
Santana: [crying] No 'cause I just try to be really, really honest with people but I think that they suck, you know?
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: No one gets it.