Sam: Someday I want to earn enough money to buy my folks a new place so they don't ever have to go through losing their home again.
Mercedes: Yeah, I'm most looking forward to meeting Rachel Berry's children.
[Everyone laughs.]

Sam: That's my James Earl Jones impression.
Santana: That is offensive. He shot Martin Luther King.

Sam: This whole week, I'll be your Christmas sponsor. Really show you what the holiday spirit's about in the USA.
Rory: That'd be so awesome, Sam.

Sam: What are you doing?
Quinn: We're not using them. You're paying.
Sam: Why?
Quinn: Because a gentleman always pays on the first date.

Sam: What are you gonna do for Christmas this year?
Rory: I'm not even sure. Brittany and her family are going on a trip to see a gay Santa. Something about Santa Fe.

Sam: Who is more rock n roll than Justin Bieber? No one.

Sam: Why didn't you tell us?
Mike, Tina, Artie and Brittany: We did.

Sam: You guys finally came around!
Finn: Well, I guess you can thank Rory for helping us see the light.
Rory: I was just following my Christmas sponsor's lead.

Sandy: You just got poked. Poked by the Pink Dagger.

Sandy: You're hunky and I'm what they call predatory gay.

Santana: [about anti-prom] Ok how is everyone 'welcome' when this is clearly just a party for you and the two gay winklevii twins?
Rachel: Actually Santana, we've invited most of McKinley's underclassmen.
[flashback to Rachel asking Becky to anti-prom]
Rachel: I wanted to invite you to our anti-prom party.
Becky: Who's going?
Rachel: Me, Kurt...
Becky: Boring, who else?
Rachel: Well, we just came up with the idea.
Becky: I'll think about it
[end of flashback]
Puck: I'm in
Artie: But what about your tradition of spiking coach Sylvester's punch bowl? I almost lost my teeth for it last time.
Puck: It's impossible. Plus it's a bummer always failing--at everything.
Santana: Can we just talk about what this really is? Rachel Berry isn't getting her way, so she's punishing the rest of us.
Rachel: Santana, that's not the case at all.
Santana: Stop acting like you're fine and start dealing with your crap. Look, you choked at your big audition. I get it. I'm sorry, but it happens. And I understand that you are pissed off at the universe, but imploding on one of the last nights that we have to spend together because, basically, your just not in the mood to dance is maybe the pettiest thing you have ever done. So have fun at your "I'm a victim" party, acting like you're not some selfish, self-centered, lame-ass wannabe diva from hell, because me, I'm going to go to my senior prom with my girlfriend and my friends.

Santana: (To Finn) Hey Orca! (bumps into him)
Finn: Hey Santana! You look like an assless J-Lo.
Santana: (laughs)
Rory: You're skinny like all the crops failed on your family's farm.
Santana: That is the lamest thing I didn't understand a word of.

Santana: Leprechaun starring a young Jen Aniston is my favorite movie. It learned me two things. One: Leprechauns like fixing shoe buckles because they're gay. And two, they grant wishes. So you're gonna grant me a wish.

Santana: [angrily yelling at Rachel and being held back] Escucha! Soy de Lima Heights Adjacents y yo tengo orgullo!. Sabes lo que pasa en Lima Heights Adjacents? Cosas Malas! (English translation: I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent and I'm proud! Do you know what goes down in Lima Heights Adjacent? Bad things!)
Flashback ends:

Santana: [crying] How could my running mate win and I didn't? I mean, just because I hate everyone doesn't mean they have to hate me too.
Brittany: It's just a stupid crown. You can buy it at the Party Store.
Santana: Can't I just have one night when I'm queen?
Kurt; I'm not going back in there.
Santana: Where I'm accepted?
Kurt': No way.
Quinn: There's no way I'm staying here. I'm going to transfer.
Santana: As soon as we get to New York I'm bailing to live in a lesbian colony, or Tribeca.