Generation Kill Season 1 quotes

Fifty percent of Americans are obese dog. You know what obese means, right? Fat as a motherfucker. All these other countries, nobody's fat. Think about this shit, dog. How does a motherfucker get fat? You gotta sit on the couch and do nothing but eat and watch TV all day. White trash, poor Mexicans and Blacks, all obese as motherfuckers. See, the white man has created a system with so much excess that even poor motherfuckers are fat.

See, that's what this is all about, dog. The U.S. should just go into all these fucked up countries, Iraq, Africa, setup American government and infrastructure - McDonalds, Starbucks, MTV - Then just hand it all over. I mean, how else we gonna make these hungry motherfuckers want to stop killing everybody? Put a McDonalds on every fuckin' corner. If we gotta blow up the corner, then build the McDonalds- so be it.

I see foot mobiles. 12 o'clock, a hundred meters. Damn. Brad, they're fuckin' hotties! I didn't know hajis could be hotties! I thought that they were all camel-faced hags! Hey, Assalamu Alaikum, ladies!

(Almost singing) Groo-ming stan-dard! By first light tamorrey, I expects all y'all to be clean shaven...

After what we just went through?

There's lots can go wrong out here. Lack of batt'ry. Cold chow. Lack of pussy. But the one thing these mens can counts on is the groomin' standard. I believe it always ought to be there for 'em.

Sgt Major, my company commander informed me last night that Godfather said the men wouldn’t have to shave!

(looks down and laughs) In his in-fine-ite wisdom, the battalion commander, never said that. You best check with your company commander.

Fucking officers will be the death of us yet.

Rolling Thunder, this is Hitman. SEAD, over.

Hitman, this is Rolling Thunder. SEAD, out.

Grid to suppress Mike-Charlie 4-3-5 9-2-1, grid to mark Mike-Charlie 4-7-3 9-8-9, over.

Grid to suppress Mike-Charlie 4-3-5 9-2-1, grid to mark Mike-Charlie 4-7-3 9-8-9, out.

SA-6 Gainful, non-standard minus 2 to minus three 3-0 plus 3-0 to plus 1, mark smoke on the deck, two rounds HEVT, CAS TOT 5-3, over.

SA-6 Gainful, non-standard minus 2 to minus 3-0 then plus 3-0 to plus 1, mark smoke on the deck, two rounds HEVT, CAS TOT 5-3, over.

OT direction 1600.

Message to observer, Charlie two rounds, HE delay in effect, five guns. Bravo, one round, one gun, smoke on the deck. SEAD. CAS TOT 5-3, target number Echo-Kilo 3-0-0-9, over.

MTO, Charlie, two rounds, HE delay, five guns, bravo, one round, one gun, smoke on the deck. SEAD. CAS TOT 5-3. Out.

Tourman, this is Hitman. Standby for avail flying information.

Tourman, standing by.

TOT 5-3, SEAD, non-standard minus 2 to minus 3-0 plus 3-0 to plus 1, gun target line 0-9-3. I'm gonna talk you on.

Tourman copies all.

West of the 7-3 Eastern, there is a large urban sprawl. Call contact.

Contact.

Splitting the urban sprawl in half from the North to the South is an MSR. Call contact.

Contact.

We’re observing everything to the west of that MSR. Can you see the palm grove in the northwest quadrant? Call contact.

Tourman. I see two prominent palm groves, not sure which one you’re calling.

Okay, okay. Do you contact the dump truck heading north in the quadrant?

Tourman, contact the dump truck.

In about a minute that technical will pass through the palm grove. There’s a two-story structure, that’s your target. Call contact.

Tourman, contact. [pause] Tourman 1-2 off safe, one away.

Sir, the main weapon on your point vehicle is unreliable. Given the prevailing climatic conditions, using this lubricant...is like trying to buttfuck a virgin, underage Phuket whore with chalk, when K-Y is clearly called for, Sir.

You want logistics? Join the Army. Marines make do.

A buddy of mine in one-seven had to fucking clean up a Humvee that got hit like that. He said he found the driver’s fingers in the engine compartment.

How did he know they were the driver’s fingers?

Because they were still gripping the steering wheel, fucknuts.

LCpl. Harold James Trombley

Yo, lets shoot some of these dogs.

Trombley, I keep telling you, we don’t shoot dogs, we shoot people. And we generally only shoot people if we have to.

Dog. We was like 13 or 14, hanging around in this neighborhood I grew up in, just east of L.A. We saw some cholos from another hood. And we thought we was all hard, gang-banger wanna be’s, so we started saying “Fuck off, yo. Fuck off” Throwin’ and flashing signs to ‘em and stuff. So they started throwing down on us “Wha, wha, wha, wha”, kicking our little asses. And some of the older dogs from our hood came out, grabbed those fools. Took one behind Tasty Freeze, they stabbed him up, with a screwdriver. Killed that cholo. See, generally, white people; they don’t drag a dude behind a Tasty Freeze and stab him to death with a screwdriver. So, after that day, I decided, I’m gonna hang with white people.

Most people in America right now probably think of Iraq as a dangerous country. Now, if I was to stand up, I might get killed. But to us, behind this wheel, it’s pretty safe. So, to us, Iraq is a safe country, right here. I feel pretty safe. Do you feel safe?

Pretty safe, I guess.

See? It’s all relative.

Yeah, looks like Saddam's big bad Republican Guard hajjis got wind I was coming. As the great warrior-poet Ice Cube once said, "If the day does not require an AK, it is good".

[To Cpl. Person] Then again, the world wouldn't have to deal with the prospect of you returning to your cretinous daughter-fucking trailer-park red-state shithole and producing mutant, whiskey tango, scrotum-faced, bucktoothed, zit-exploding progeny.