Frasier quotes
105 total quotesMartin: Oh, for God's sake, Eddie, don't drink out of the toilet! Some guy just had his head in there!
Martin: One minute it's just a blob in some lady's stomach, the next minute it's a person. Blob... Person.
Frasier: The miracle of birth, summed up in one poetic phrase.
Frasier: The miracle of birth, summed up in one poetic phrase.
Martin: Seattle's a big city. I'm sure there's a bunch of German fencing instructors, each one with dozens of students.
Frasier: Yes, but are they wealthy students?
Martin: [sarcastically] No, they're inner-city kids trying to work their way out of the ghetto with nothing but a foil and a dream.
Frasier: Yes, but are they wealthy students?
Martin: [sarcastically] No, they're inner-city kids trying to work their way out of the ghetto with nothing but a foil and a dream.
Niles: [about Maris] She's been afraid to fly since her harrowing incident.
Daphne: Oh, dear... Did a plane almost crash?
Niles: No, she was bumped from first class. She still wakes up screaming.
Daphne: Oh, dear... Did a plane almost crash?
Niles: No, she was bumped from first class. She still wakes up screaming.
Niles: [to Frasier] You unprincipled charlatan! You unconscionable fraud! [turns] Happy birthday, Dad.
Niles: All my life I have dreamed of one thing: the day I could go into a library, go to the card catalogue and see my name under "Mental Illness."
Niles: How much firepower do you suppose is necessary to embed a cherry in an acoustic ceiling tile?
Frasier: Another question we should have asked ourselves before we entered the exiting world of food service.
Frasier: Another question we should have asked ourselves before we entered the exiting world of food service.
Niles: I really must go. I'm hosting a seminar on multiple personality disorders and it takes me forever to fill out the name tags.
Niles: I really must run. I'm due at my sexual addiction group, and I don't like to leave them alone for too long.
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris!
Frasier: I do, I... I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun... except without the warmth.
Frasier: I do, I... I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun... except without the warmth.
Niles: I'm sorry, Frasier. I am not a Winnebago person. Whenever I see one on the highway, I look into the driver's eyes, hoping to see something that would explain why in God's name they would ever want to do something like this. All I see is a death stare under the brim of a hat made out of Miller Lite cans. This is my final word: I'm not going.
[Martin and Daphne enter.]
Martin: Great news! Daphne's coming, too.
Niles: And so am I!
[Martin and Daphne enter.]
Martin: Great news! Daphne's coming, too.
Niles: And so am I!
Niles: My brother is too kind. He was already eminent, while my eminence was merely... imminent.
Niles: My taekwondo instructor says I'm just two moves away from becoming quite threatening.
Niles: So what you're saying is you want to be closer to Dad, but you don't actually want him around.