(Father Ted is standing in front of a sitting Father Jack, with a board between them)
Right, father, now we're going to have a little elocution lesson.
Drink! (throws can of beer)
Now, father, you can't be saying that all the time when the bishops come here.
Feck!
No, you can't say that either.
Girls!
Look father, just let's go back to "drink" for the moment.
Drink!
Right, now I want you to have a look at this.
(Ted turns a page on the board, with the words "That would be an ecumenical matter" and “Yes” written on it)
Have a go at the first one here... "That". (points to word)
(concentrating) Drink!
No, no, no, no. "That".
(trying hard) Drink!
Now come on, father, concentrate. "That".
Drink!
"That"
Drink!
"That"
Drink!
"That"
(this continues a few more times)
Now come on now father! I know you can do it! There'll be a little drink in it for you if you do it.
Drink?
Yes I promise. Now come on, try again. "That".
(trying very very hard). Th.. th... th... h.... Drink!
Come on now father you almost had it! "That".
Th.. th... th... h.... That!
Great!
That!
Brilliant, Father! Let's keep it going here, and the next one, "That would"
That... W.... W... W...
"Would!", "Would!"
W... W... Drink!
(Jack collapses back into chair in despair, while Ted smashes the board away in frustration)
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