(Ted receives bad news)
Bloody hell!
Good news Ted?
Father Ted (sitting down): No Dougal, very bad news. It's the Holy Stone of Clonrichert. The Vatican have decided to upgrade it to a Class II relic.
Great!
No it's not great! That means they'll be sending over some bishops to do a ceremony. And you know what that's like - we'll have to be on our best behaviour.
I thought there was something up with the Holy Stone. Wasn't someone cured there?
No, someone was lured there. It was Paddy Short, then those fellas started to beat him with the sticks.
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