TV show quotes
You listen to me, slick. If I knew where your Mormon God was, I'd drive through the night and I'd stab him in the fucking eyes! We're done.
If that's the way you want to go. But careful how many sides you play, palomino. Even a gold coin's only got two faces.
Can I help you?
Good afternoon. There's a guard usually on the porch. But not today. How many kids in the house?
Get out of here.
Answer the question.
How about I got a question for you?
For me?
Yeah. You ever go to the zoo?
[chuckles] Sometime.
Hmm. You see the mama lion and her cubs? You think she's in that cage for her protection? [Buel pulls out a shotgun] To be fair, it's what we call a rhetorical question. Now get the fuck out of here.
First, we recognize things have gotten out of hand. Our two families. We recognize this and, uh, we apologize.
You apologize?
Doctor Senator-
Don't...say his name.
He was a friend of mine. His death should not have happened, but Gaetano Fadda is the son of Donatello Fadda, chosen by New York. His death is not allowed.
Not allowed?
I'm simply telling you how it is. There are people you can kill, people you can't.
Eh, well... [Ebal looks at Josto] No, I'm just saying he's more animal than people.
Hey... [in Italian] He's your bother.
Cain was Abel's brother. [in Italian] How'd that turn out?
Elevate, don't denigrate. That's what I tell 'em. My kids. What do you think the Italians tell their kids?
I-I don't know
Yeah, yeah, but you see it, though, right? What they're doing? Call a man an animal, keep him in the dirt. But what if he don't grunt? What if he don't honk? What if he walks tall and stays a man? C'mon, you know what that is. You boys do it all the time.
No, not me.
You get in the dirt yourself and you show him how to be an animal! You show him how to hate! You show him how to be cruel! You kill his friends! You murder his child.
Boss...I didn't know.
They can't rise to our level, so they got to drag us down to theirs. But it's a trap. It's a trap, 'cause if I get in the dirt like them, that means they were right the whole time.
You know what I think? Every country has its own type of criminal. In America, we got the confidence man. Snake oil salesman, grifter. He don't rob you as much as trick you into robbing yourself. See, 'cause in America, people want to believe. They got that dream. And a dreamer, you can fleece.
Tell me.
It didn't work. They're a team now, the brothers. So what do we do?
Fargo.
I told those ladies no harm would come to them. That makes me accountable.
Should I tell you what I've learned about the criminal mindset? By definition, the criminal rejects accountability, as their identity is based on getting away with things. Similarly, the criminal - you - rejects morality and ethics, for if there is a larger right, then the criminal himself is always wrong. And you don't strike me as the type of man thinks himself wrong.
Rarely.
So there goes morality out the window, but in that vacuum, what should rush but a code. A system of rules, mostly having to do with loyalty. And this way, the criminal detaches himself from the civilian world.
And yet, here I am. Family man, community leader, deacon in the church.
Oh, the criminal is capable of being all those things. But it's a ruse. For though you claim to share the values of your wife or preacher, the Lord knows it's a disguise. Ask me how I know for certain.
How do you know for certain?
Would a family man trade his youngest son to his enemy in exchange for power and monetary gain?
You need to leave.
[Opal reaches for a gun but Deafy pulls out his gun first]
And so we circle back, inevitably, to your original statement. To wit, I'm accountable for those ladies, murderers both, thieves and cheats. But now, since we both know the criminal is capable of love and loyalty only when it suits his own self-interest, I've come to the make the following point: It don't. Not no more. In summation, boy, if you could sacrifice your youngest, like Isaac in the Holy Book, well, then giving up two strangers to keep the might of the federal government off your back, well, now, that should be as facile as breathing.
This is...this isn't a choice. I got a condition. When I was a kid, the teachers said "oversensitive." The army shrink said I-I worry too much, which...How can you worry too much when you're at war? All those things you called me - twitchy, touched - I been hearing that my whole life. All I know is I-I feel better when I'm in charge, when I got the power. That's why I joined the force. You know, because cops have power. So, now I'm on the street, I'm the boss. Except, turns out, being a cop's real risky. Risky makes me nervous. So I'm...I make a deal with the street. I take a few bucks, I-I look the other way. Less risk, but also less power. So here comes that feeling again. Like I'm...I'm drowning o-on dry land.
Cheer up, palomino. In times like these, my mind goes back to the wisest words I ever heard. And forgive me for the blueness of the final stanza, but here it is: "Behold the amazing pelican, whose beak can hold more than his belly can. He can hold in his beak enough food for a week. I'll be damned if I know how the hell he can."
"Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim." - Bertrand Russell
I got a wife.
[Rabbi turns his gun on Haskell]
I...I ain't married yet. Who's gonna feed the dogs?
[Rabbi and Satchel spot an incomplete billboard that reads "The Future Is"]
The future is what?
How's that?
What's it gonna say?
Wait 'til it's finished, then you'll see.
Well...finish the damn thing already!
Moment I finish it, I'm out of a job. Plus, why do you care? It's just a sign.
It's the principle. Making people live with uncertainty, it ain't right!
Send a letter to your congressman, you're so irate.
Hey, funny you mention that. I was talking to a fella on the train, must've been, um, winter last, works in publishing. Did you know that in the original Goldilocks, it was witches, not bears? In any case, he tells me, think about this poor girl, no home of her own, just wandering the woods. This fella said that to his mind, Goldilocks is the classic example of an outsider in search of himself. If you think about it, the story's got no ending. I mean, the bears, they get justice chasing an intruder out of their home, but for the girl? Well, she's back out in the cold. No family, no home. Doesn't fit in anywhere.
[Rabbi discovers the complete billboard reads "The Future Is Now"]
Hey! Hey! What the heck does that even mean?
Got me. Could be a statement as to the underlying unreliability of time. Or a testimony along the lines of "seize the day". They don't pay me to write 'em, just slap 'em up. Which I did. And now it's done. And I find myself once more at a crossroads, unemployed. So I suppose for me the future I once feared has arrived as predicted by this very billboard.
What does it feel like to be so sure you're right and know that nobody cares? Hmm? I'll see you in your dreams.
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