Barb Howard and Cooper Howard in “Unfinished Business”

Barb Howard

It's going to be hard on her, that's all.

Cooper Howard

What is?

Barb Howard

You know. "No Dogs in the Vault."

Cooper Howard

[surprised] Says who?

Barb Howard

Hmm?

Cooper Howard

"No Dogs in the Vault." Says who?

Barb Howard

Well, that's just...that's the policy. You know, dogs eat meat. It's an avoidable inefficiency.

Cooper Howard

Yeah...that's not really the question, is it? All I'm asking is, who decided there were were no dogs in the Vault?

Barb Howard

Well I think that is a relatively trivial concern, given the prerequisite conditions of us living in a nuclear fallout shelter.

Cooper Howard

You know, I'm not sure that it is, to be quite honest. [Barb sighs] I'm serious! Who makes the rules? Because "No Dogs Allowed," that is a new rule! Somebody decided that and didn't share it with fucking anyone! I mean, what else do you have in store for us? Are the blue jumpsuits mandatory? What if I don't want to wear a blue one? What if I want to wear a green one?

Barb Howard

So the Bomb falls and you want to know about your wardrobe?

Cooper Howard

No, I want to know about my freedom! I didn't go to war defending that freedom so I could live in a cellar under the bootheel of Chairman Bud Askins.

Barb Howard

While you were away at war, I stayed home.

Cooper Howard

I know you did...

Barb Howard

I was checking the mail every day...

Cooper Howard

I know.

Barb Howard

I was waiting by the phone every night, and every night I was driving myself crazy imagining the worst. So you do not need to tell me how bad war is, Coop. Every day I go into work, and I think about how humanity can survive a nuclear event that will wipe out 90% of life on earth. And I come home, and you're talking to me about hiding out on a ranch up in Bakersfield? I don't even know what planet you're on sometimes, Coop! But when the bombs drop, a two-hour drive ain't gonna cut it! So yes, there will be no dogs in the Vault, and no, none of it is ideal. But if billions of people are going to lose their lives, I will do whatever it takes to make sure that the people I love - and that is you and that is Janey - aren't among them. I have worked hard to make sure we go into a special Vault for Management. Where we will oversee all the other Vaults. [Cooper looks at her with disapproval] You don't get it! That is the best we can possibly hope for! For Janey.